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lessons only learn once
We're human, and we all make mistakes. That's a simple fact of life.
But some people seem to make it their life's mission to make the most ridiculous decisions... and then act all surprised when the consequences get all up in their faces about it.
Ready for some laughs, Redditor AyrionUpaka asked:
"Redditors who f**ked around and found out (FAFO), what did you find out?"
...For Science
"I decided at the tender age of eight or nine that I was immune to poison ivy, since I spent quite large amounts of time outside and had never once gotten a rash from it."
"Since I was a born scientist, apparently, I decided to test this... by rubbing egregious amounts of the plant all over my upper body."
"Needless to say, I was not immune. Not in the slightest."
- StandardDeviat0r
A Cruel Lesson
"About six years old. Having a picnic with my dad by the lake. Some ducks wander up near us. Dad says, 'You know, ducks will bite you.'"
"I said, 'That’s silly, they don’t even have teeth.'"
"He said, 'Stick your finger out and see for yourself.'"
"Got bit. Cried."
- Kunikunatu
Suspiciously Stinky
"I chased a giant white squirrel and I found out it was actually a skunk."
- Complete-One-5520
"That stinks."
- CheeseRake
A Portable Conductor
"Putting a 9V battery on your braces is not a great idea. It melts the rubber bands and you have to explain it to the orthodontist."
- spleenliverbladder
"I'd be like, 'You guys were SO clear about gum and popcorn… but not a word about batteries. I think this is really on you.'"
- Noturnsnoturns
Tele-fork-tation
"Forks don't belong in a power socket unless you want to experience a flight from wall A to wall B."
- Snuddud
Don't Forget to Care For Your Teeth
"I kept pushing back for my wisdom teeth removal (not putting money aside for it) and lo and behold, the pain went from 0 to 100 quickly and I finally took them out. Thankfully the rest of my teeth are fine and happy."
- Astropwr
"I put off having an infected tooth pulled. The bacteria entered my bloodstream and infected my heart, settling in my back. I had open heart surgery in May and had three valves replaced. Dental health, folks!!"
- MiltonRoberts
Aging Gracefully
"Skateboarding is not easy, not at 40 anyhow."
- vanillagorilla
"Dude, sleeping wrong after 40 can mess you up for a week. I don't even want to think about hopping on a skateboard!!"
"Edit to add: I'm enjoying the laughs of all of your stories explaining the awful ways our bodies betray us as we age. I salute my fellow middle-aged warriors with an ice pack, heating pad, and an ibuprofen chaser."
- motormouth08
When in Doubt...
"I was late for work and starving. The chicken I pulled from the fridge for a quick dinner smelled a little weird. But it was organic and I had roasted it myself, so it must be fine."
"So very f**king wrong. 18 hours of pure h**l. I would have gone to the hospital, but I literally couldn’t get off my bathroom floor. Fainted twice and ended up with a black eye from hitting my head on the toilet."
"When in doubt, throw it out."
- msjammies73
Show Some Respect
"I was a teenager working retail with a guy named Stephen, and I always just called him Steve."
"He pulled me aside one day and asked me politely if I could call him Stephen since he preferred that."
"My smart a** replied, 'Well, I want to be called Gladiator, but you don’t see me complaining.'"
"He just said, 'Deal,' and walked away."
"For the next two years, he only referred to me as Gladiator. Need help finding something? Gladiator here would be happy to help you. He would get on the intercom and be like, 'Gladiator to the front desk… Gladiator, front desk.'"
"I learned not to be a smart a** and never called him Steve again."
- SpaceCadetriment
Health Matters
"Ignoring my medical problem didn’t make it go away, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Capsizedbutwise
"I usually give something mild-moderately annoying two weeks to resolve on its own. If it's still bugging me then, I make an appointment. Seems to have served me well."
- sanslumiere
Always Drink Water
"It was a hot sweltering day and I wanted to get my bike fixed. Played outside all day as kids do and didn't hydrate enough. Walked to the bike shop in the late afternoon, got my bike fixed, and felt faint walking back but thought I'd be okay after drinking water."
"Came home, drank some milk then some water. Immediately puked everything and then some more. Everything I'd eaten since the morning(not much) was in the commode. My stomach hurt and my face went pale. I went and lay down, puked in a few minutes again but only bile came out."
"Puked bile every few minutes for the next hour until my father came home and saw me weak and pale. Went to the doctor and he said I'd been severely dehydrated barely away from hospitalization. Put me on fluids for some time."
"If my dad hadn't come home when he did, I don't know what would have happened."
"Drink water, folks."
- amadnomad
That Poor Dog
"I tried to break up a dog fight. I was holding my dog, on leash, when an unleashed dog ran in and began attacking him."
"I went for the dog's scruff to try to pin him to the ground (while also trying to hold my dog back with the other hand). The attacking dog bit my hand three times quickly, the third time he punctured my thumb bones and got a real good grip. He proceeded to try to rip my thumb off."
"All I remember thinking is, 'That's my primary hand, even if I let go of Fitzy (my dog) with the other hand, you are NOT going to be able to pry this thing's mouth open.'"
"This was all of course happening in the span of five to ten seconds. Out of nowhere, my then girlfriend swooped in like f**king Batman from behind the dog, sunk her fingers into its' scruff, and her knee into the back of its' neck, ripping it off me."
"Anyway, I ended up proposing to her after that, and the settlement paid for a big chunk of our wedding."
"In retrospect, I'm d**n glad this thing went after me, itbecause was a 4th of July party and there were little kids everywhere."
"What makes me angriest about this whole thing is the way it impacted my dog. He was very social and friendly with other animals before this, but it has been ten years and he won't give any other pup a chance now. He has lived a life lacking what he deserves due to those poor dog owners."
- Canlaeb
And Suddenly, It All Made Sense
"After years of my parents forcing me to paint my nails on the linoleum floor of the bathroom with a towel under me, I got my own apartment and was like HAH, NO DUMB RULES HERE."
"And that’s how I lost my first down deposit. I spilled nail polish on the carpet. And my couch. And... a few other places."
- FartAttack911
We Know That, But...
"I discovered that procrastination doesn't make problems disappear; it just delays the inevitable and often makes them worse."
- Cautious_Meal_5852
"I know this, but that still doesn’t prevent procrastination. Instead, I stress about the task and the fact that I’m procrastinating said task instead of doing it."
- Emkems
A Humbling Experience
"I once thought I could easily handle spicy food, so I challenged my friend to a hot wing eating contest."
"Turns out, my tolerance wasn't as high as I thought, and I spent the rest of the night regretting my decision in the bathroom."
"Lesson learned: don't underestimate the power of spicy food!"
- Intrepid_Stage_3463
From hilarious to cringey to painful, there was no shortage of mistakes and lessons learned here.
At least now that we've read these, we have a chance to thank someone for making these mistakes for us instead of us having to make them ourselves!