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Elon Musk Hopes To Have His Brain Implants In Humans In Six Months—And We're Not OK
Elon Musk hopes to place Neuralink implants in humans in six months.
You read that correctly.
Elon Musk won't stop at spontaneous combusting Teslas or Twitter's internal collapse.
Like something straight out of a dystopian novel, he is pushing for brain implants in humans.
\u201cBREAKING: Elon Musk's Neuralink aims to start putting its coin-sized brain implant into human patients within six months https://t.co/2RXl2h0GZo\u201d— Bloomberg (@Bloomberg) 1669865184
The Neuralink implant fills Musk with high hopes, with possibilities of one's ability to navigate interfaces using only brain power and even a cure for paralysis.
Here's a news coverage of the proposed technology.
Elon Musk says Neuralink brain implant could begin human testingyoutu.be
According to Bloomberg:
"Neuralink has been refining the product, which consists of a tiny device and electrode-laced wires, along with a robot that carves out a piece of a person's skull and implants it into the brain."
Neuralink has been refining the product, which consists of a tiny device and electrode-laced wires, along with a robot that carves out a piece of a person’s skull and implants it into the brain https://t.co/yHUt4JlCol
— Bloomberg (@business) December 1, 2022
Again, yes, you read that correctly.
While the promises of the product seem too good to be true, the real problem is that, so far, product tests run on monkeys have ended in mortifying results.
According to a February report by New York Post, beginning in 2017, 23 monkeys were implanted with Neuralink. By 2020, at least 15 of them died or were euthanized.
Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine's research advocacy director Jeremy Beckham told the Post:
"Pretty much every single monkey that had had implants put in their head suffered from pretty debilitating health effects."
"They were, frankly, maiming and killing the animals."
The masses took to Twitter to share their thoughts.
\u201cWarning: The day after you receive your brain implant, Elon may fire all of Neuralink's staff and try to run all of your brains by himself.\u201d— Dan Slott (@Dan Slott) 1669911414
Somebody make this make sense? pic.twitter.com/A03BRxNaaG
— NonnyLynda (@NonnyLynda) December 1, 2022
“Recipients report a strong sudden desire to buy a Tesla.”
— Mark Russell (@Manruss) December 1, 2022
Then it’s 8 bucks a month or he’ll yank them right back out.
— Grant-Lee Phillips (@GrantLeeTweets) December 1, 2022
\u201cElon Musk's Neuralink: for when you want your brain to burst into flames, but unexpectedly.\u201d— Megs (@Megs) 1669899326
Your brain on Nuralink pic.twitter.com/wepc0Nz65L
— クリス 🎃😺 (@PizzaWalrus) December 1, 2022
Omg the anti-vax “they’ll microchip you!” bros are going to volunteer to be actually microchipped by Elon and I’m going to need more popcorn.
— Lorenna “bipolarlioness” Cleary (@Brodie_Dog) December 1, 2022
After getting the implant, people won't need to buy a Tesla to drive into the side of a parked bus or semi due to a software glitch.
They will be able to do that in ANY vehicle.
— Whar Adult Supervision? (@shabatu33) December 1, 2022
According to Musk, all we need now is FDA approval.
We are now confident that the Neuralink device is ready for humans, so timing is a function of working through the FDA approval process
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 1, 2022
We think we'll pass.