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drift apart from bff
Reddit user, u/SonofZeus066, wanted to know:
What caused you and your best friend to drift apart?
The Party Never Ends
GiphyI just didn't want to party any more and he didn't want the party to stop.
The Distance Gets To You
I'm still friends with both of my best friends, but we don't talk a whole lot and we only see each other once or twice a year. When we do see each other, it's like nothing changed, but it's so uncommon because we all live in different states that it's hard to feel like we aren't drifting apart throughout the year.
Can't Be Friends If You Don't Hang Out
GiphyThey started hanging out without inviting me, I tried, I really did but I guess at the end it didn't matter.
A Case Of Mistaken Intentions
His sister went through a really bad breakup and was left with 2 kids she never really wanted.
I consoled her and got her to go out and have fun again. He assumed I was sleeping with her and threw a tantrum.
Our friendship was pretty rocky before that but his selfishness concerning his own sister was just ridiculous.
Gone Forever?
She told me that she wanted to visit the jungle (didn't specify which, as she was travelling all over Asia) in her gap year. I asked her which one since there are multiple.
She haven't answered me since.
A Friend Who Never Acted Like One
GiphyHe was a shitty person, even though he was all I really had. When we were younger he would go after any girl I had a thing for eventually making them lose interest in me. He was just an unmotivated individual that would only drag me down, I couldnt stay around him after realizing that. I tried to rekindle our friendship about 2 years ago maybe, because honestly I miss him. Last time I saw him he had me buy him lunch that after he got his food he left me alone to go hang out with his friend instead.
Sorry man I tried, have fun living your dream of being a shift manager at IHOP.
They Leave You Out Of It
We had planned to go on holiday together and I'd been saving my money for months for it but I found out she ditched our plans and went away with some of our mutual friends instead. I found out they'd all gone on holiday without me from our mutual friends snapchat story when they posted a picture of them on holiday together.
When she got back I asked my best friend why didn't she just tell me she didn't want to go on holiday with me anymore but she took over a day to reply to each of my messages, she told me I was thinking too deep into it and I never got an apology. She ended the message with 'we should talk more' but she hasn't messaged me since.
Everyone's Cheating On Everyone
My (at the time) boyfriend cheated on me with one of my closest friends.
My best friend since 3rd grade was there when it happened, didn't stop it and never told me about it. I found out on my own in the most fucked up way possible.
Best part is that when I found out her boyfriend was cheating on her, I told her the second I found out.
Listen To Their Words
GiphyHe started hanging out with this group of people who were always saying racist sh-t.
I started by calling them out and they'd double down. First it was maybe a joke in bad taste but eventually seemed like they really believed that sh-t. Wasn't sure if he was on board or just willing to stay quiet.
I stopped hanging out with that group and he kept on. After a while he wouldn't take or return my calls. I don't lose sleep over it.
When They Take Advantage Of Your Kindness
She was going through a hard time. Let her live with me rent free while she got back on her feet. She decided to not try to get back on her feet. Once she started doing drugs (there were kids in the house) she had to go. That put a damper on our friendship. Last time I saw her she asked me for a handout.
Politics Come Into Play
We were best friends in college, and as the years passed we became progressively different people. The last time we saw each other politics came up and based on the guy I used to know I thought it was fair game to take a stab at Trump, and then a fight erupted.
We both took it too far, and I doubt we will ever speak again. Despite walking into that day thinking he was still my best friend, a lot was said that day that spoke to years of harbored resentment on both sides that I didn't know was there
Yeah...They Tend To Eat Up A Lot Of Time...
Kids.
Kids.
And more kids.
All my friends have kids
Just Did Everything Wrong On This One
She thought it was appropriate to not just date my boyfriend (who I broke up with shortly before I found out they were together) but to shun me and leave me to beg for her attention whilst she did so. And then asked me to comfort her over their breakup.
No thanks.
A Hostile Takeover
GiphyWe used to run a LARP event together, for eight years. We didn't always agree, but the discussions were usually how we got on to something even better. Out of the blue he decides that he doesn't like it anymore, but instead of talking it over with me he goes behind my back.
I brought new people in, his parents ran the location we played at. We'd brought in a few other game leaders, and had mostly selected them on wether he could deal with them, cause he was a pain in the ass with people. Should've seen it coming, but nope. Never even learned what caused him to suddenly turn on me, so I have no idea what caused the 'drift'.
Taking One Over The Other
When I was the only one who got accepted in the school we both applied to.
If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have known about that school too. I still have this lingering belief her mother hated me because of it
Something Holding Her Back
Long story short, I grew up and she continues to act like a teenager. I think a big part of it has to do with the fact she's still in college (going into her 7th year of undergrad) and primarily hangs with people 4-5 years younger than us.
She also always complains about how "hard" adulting is when she's never had to work full time, pay a dime in bills, and gets to live at home, rent free. We still talk on occasion, but it's rare we hang out anymore.
Feel Like You Buried The Lede On This One...
GiphyI moved away. I moved on, he went to jail. You know how it goes.
Someone Took Them Away
Her meeting a guy that completely brainwashed her.
She used to be a very gentle, outgoing and self-independant women who loved her life, job, friends, family etc.
After meeting him, she totally changed. He comes from a male dominant country and made her believe within a very short period of time that she should give up her whole life and serve him 24/7 (From "I am thirsty, get me some water NOW" to "You can't have a life because I might need you while you do xy"). She is taking the blame for everything that goes wrong in his life. He is insulting her non-stop. She is in charge of managing the household, the baby, his needs and his life. While he... enjoys life.
She gave up all her values and become a totally different person. Family and friends tried to talk to her, but accepts the way it is. Over the last couple of years she lost almost all of her former friends (no new friends, as he doesn't want to her be social).
I kept in touch with her, she knows she can always rely on me, but I think our relationship will never be the same (at least not as long as he is in her life) and it really hurts so see all this, while I can't do anything and lost my best friend.