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did i freaking stutter
Be Prepared....
GiphyVehicle Inspector here....
"Sir, your back right tail is broken, you need to get that fixed and come back."
"I'm friends with the owner here and you're telling me that my car has a problem?"
"I already have, if you aren't prepared in the future, don't waste my time." Agent_Xhiro
Cut it Off!
When I finally kicked my ex out of my life. She tried to argue us back into being together... as I drove her to the airport, and even had the audacity to critique my arguing techniques as not conducive to resolving a fight.
I cut her off and said, "what part of this are you not getting? We're way past that...this is not a fight I need to work through with you. I'm taking you to the airport, and I never want to see or hear from you again." onebatch_twobatch
Ring the Bell....
GiphyHad a door to door salesman ring the door bell. I was nice and opened the door and stepped outside onto the step (dogs were going bananas). I let him tell me what he was selling and then politely told him I wasn't interested. Went to open the screen door to go in and he put his arm out to stop it from opening. I have resting B face normally, so I guess the look on my face was enough, but I was instantly livid with him. tacitta
Moments in Life.
My mom came to my place and, out of reflex, she called me a whore like she did when I was living with her as a teenager. I told her to get out. There was this amazing moment where she was completely disoriented by my reaction. It didn't compute so I told her again, it's time for you to go, please leave.
It was one of the most important moments in my life. jdwright1989
March 31st!!
When I quit my last job due to a promotion. I let my current boss know I accepted the promotion, and gave him three weeks notice and that my last day was March 31st. He proceeded to tell me that we would discuss a time when he would allow me to leave, and I wasn't allowed to leave until he said so. I very firmly repeated myself that March 31st would be my last day, and it was not negotiable. He was the worst person I've ever worked with in my career.boopydooploop
Woohoo!!
GiphyCaught my girlfriend cheating and kicked her out. Went out on the patio for a smoke (I've since quit, woohoo!) and she followed me out asking me to at least give her a few from the pack. idjehcirjdkdnsiiskak
Happy Birthday!
My ex continued to text me like normal everyday 2 weeks past the break up she initiated. Eventually I ended up telling her "look, you don't wanna date, you don't wanna be friends, I'm not gonna keep making small talk to make you feel better." A week later she STILL texted me to wish me a happy birthday. The break up according to her was because I couldn't "read the room" well. Jesus. RollinDeepWithData
Worked in a gas station and two guys walked in and kept looking where all the workers were. I kept an eye on them cause they looked shady, then I see one of the guys put a pack of sausages in his pocket and then come to the till to buy a red bull.
I See Your Sausage Sir.
I made my co-worker (also my sister) move so I could serve them and when I scanned the red bull I said in the most casual way I could, with my heart nearly ripping out of my chest (I'm not a confrontational person), "do you wanna pay for the sausages you put in your pocket, too?" and the look on his face was priceless, I had to repeat myself and he just mumbles a "sorry" and paid for the sausages.
After they left my co-worker lost it, said how taken back she was cause she thought I was being rude to the customer before she realized what happened.
She ended up telling the manager about it and I got a good ol' pat on the back and a sincere thanks.
Doesn't sound like much but I felt like a damn baddie. aesthetnic
Say my Name.
GiphyChecking into campus housing, when I gave them my last name (fairly uncommon), and the girl says "do you mean (insert name that rhymes with mine)?" It's like wtf, are you seriously suggesting I don't know my own name? OddEye
Not on Saturday!
"No thank you I don't want to work Saturday."
"Are you doing anything on Saturday?"
"No, I just don't want to work Saturday, you contracted me to work weekdays."
Anyway I got a complaint filed against me for not being a team-player.
Edit: To add context, it was my first job after leaving school so I never really knew how to defend myself from and stand up to office malarkey. At the time I did do a few Saturday's to appease them but joined a sports team to give me a reason not to. I have since left for a better job. 10PointsForStAndrews
Caught Red Handed.
Found out my supposed best friend who I was letting live on my couch was cheating on me with my GF at the time who I lived with.
I work in IT so I work crazy long hours but we had a massive power outage one day and boss said to just go home for the day so I left 5 hours early.
Caught both of them red handed.
Kicked them both out at once which was ideal because I got a little two pigeons - one stone type of deal.
They both apologized profusely and asked me even though they made a mistake why would I kick them out on the streets in an area where they can't afford to live? (Silicon Valley)
I laughed my butt off and said "I guess that's something you two should have figured out during pillow talk huh?" And slammed my front door as hard as I could in their faces.
Needless to say it wrecked me for a while because I loved that girl but looking back on it I think it's the only moment in my life where I'm proud to have stood up for my morals and values and not taken any crap or continued to let people walk all over me.
And that crap is priceless. DarkSideOfLife500
Sausages.
GiphyWorked in a gas station and two guys walked in and kept looking where all the workers were. I kept an eye on them cause they looked shady, then I see one of the guys put a pack of sausages in his pocket and then come to the till to buy a red bull.
I made my co-worker (also my sister) move so I could serve them and when I scanned the red bull I said in the most casual way I could, with my heart nearly ripping out of my chest (I'm not a confrontational person), "do you wanna pay for the sausages you put in your pocket, too?" and the look on his face was priceless, I had to repeat myself and he just mumbles a "sorry" and paid for the sausages.
After they left my co-worker lost it, said how taken back she was cause she thought I was being rude to the customer before she realized what happened.
She ended up telling the manager about it and I got a good ol' pat on the back and a sincere thanks.
Doesn't sound like much but I felt like a baddie! aesthetnic
I was a CSR.
I was a CSR for a popular pizza chain, and was handed a phone with an angry customer on the other line. They were complaining about having a pizza messed up, and I asked what they ordered. Over the next few minutes, their story kept on changing. First it was the sauce, then the toppings, then a missing side. I called him out on it, and told him to go scam some other restaurant. Needless to say, he only got one f bomb in before I hung up on him. Teetothejay13
Mylie....
We dropped our dog off at the groomers for her usual trim. When I returned three hours later the receptionist returned with a dog that, while adorable, was definitely not our dog. Not the same breed or even size. I chuckled and said this is definitely not my dog. To which the receptionist thought the appropriate reply was "Yes, that's Mylie." That was her name, but not the same dog. I retorted, "I think I know what my own dog looks like, miss."
"Well, that's her. If you don't like the cut, you can discuss it with the groomer."
That dismissive comment immediately made me lose my patience. "Hey! Get out from behind that desk and take this dog. We will go back there together and I will show you which dog is mine. I'm not going to waste another breath arguing this with you. Let's go."
I found our Mylie. It was the dog that was excited instead of confused when she saw me. I got that grooming for free.ChurchArsonist
The Shift Lead.
GiphyWhen I was a shift lead in a kitchen, we had this one high schooler who always had an attitude and typically I would ignore it, but one day she didn't want to prep or clean dishes and I gave her the choice, but she flat out said said no to doing both. Since she had time to talk with her co-workers, I told her to do both.
I usually don't "make" people do anything. I ask if they can, but this time I deliberately made her do both. They usually don't often see me being direct like that so it was effective.
I almost stuttered too, but I will never let her know that. I hate telling people to do this or that unless I really know them well. WannabeAsianNinja
Byeeeeee.....
My boss told me I couldn't take time off for my son's wedding. I wasn't asking, but now I'm just not coming back.amp9396
2 Weeks Bye.
This is my two week notice.
Yeah uh huh. Can you come in (day a month away)?
I said I'm putting in my two weeks.
Yeah I heard you, but we're going to be short staffed that day.
?????? 99213
Get Out!
GiphyMy ex lived with me when I found out that his friend who was doing pro bono work overseas was actually his fiance. Me kicking him out was my "Did I stutter?!" moment.
No. Fool. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
Edited to add that he thought "But where am I going to live?" was a question I would give a flying fig about the answer to. Edited again since some people are being pedantic: He was not my ex yet when this happened. He is my ex now.SouthernYankeeWitch
I was babysitting an arrestee recently at the hospital who had a broken leg, so they wanted to do a video arraignment. Whatever, I don't care, I'm getting paid to watch YouTube.
They asked for my email address to send me a link to use my phone for the video conference. Sorry, I don't have a work phone. Oh no, they say, use my personal phone for the video arraignment.
The Judge is Waiting.
Yeah no. My personal phone is not being used in an arraignment. That leaves it open to discovery in my opinion.
No it's fine, they say. Officers do it all the time.
Cool. It's not happening.
But the judge is waiting.
I don't work for the judge. Not happening. savage_31
3 Choices.
When I found out the ex husband's last affair (he had several) I told him to open his iPad and start looking for a place to stay as he sure as heck wasn't going to be staying in the house. He sat there and just looked at me like I was joking. I said your fingers aren't broken, start tapping away and find a place. Either I can pack your bag for you which will be done in 3 seconds or you can pack it.
I said you have three choices. The car, the gutter or find a friend.
He then stood up and made his way to the bedroom to pack. Said he can stay at a friend. I said I don't care where you stay but it won't be here. Moved in with the last affair following day. Justanun
Who wants to speak out about the words that fell out out their mouths?