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New Ruling Finds Woman's 'Long-Term Relationship' With Chandelier Isn't Protected As A Sexual Orientation
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And you thought your love life was complicated...

A woman in Britain has had her relationship with a 92-year-old German invalidated by a British authority, who will not affirm her long-term commitment to her beau.

Which is an outrage! Or it would be, if the 92-year-old German in question weren't literally a chandelier.

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