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bridal shower
Little did Redditor "golddustwoman-" know that the bride came from a super religious family.
And with the virtuous mothers of both the bride and the groom present during the innocent festivities, it was too late to back out.
The Original Poster (OP) braced for a lightning strike as she witnessed the blushing bride unwrap sex toys and seductive accessories in front of the pious group.
The OP said her TIFU (Today I F'd Up) moment took place "about a year ago."
"One of my good friends during college got engaged our senior year and was getting married the month we graduated."
"She invited me and my roommate to her Lingerie Bridal Shower, we weren't bridesmaids/going on her bachelorette weekend, so we thought we would really make the most of this bridal shower."
"The bride was very religious (waiting for marriage to seal the deal), especially the groom's side of the family, and we mostly wanted to kind of hype her up before the big day."
The following racy gifts indubitably raised some temperatures in the room.
"So my roommate and I go to Victoria's Secret and buy a very suggestive bustier, and then made a visit to our local XXX shop. We got the essentials, I won't go into detail by community guidelines, but we had toys and accessories for days."
"So the shower day comes and it was the type of set up where you put the presents on a table before walking into where the actual party was."
"My roommate and I, grinning and giggly, leave our delicately wrapped present and enter the party. Little did we know, this was a SHOWER both the Mother of the bride, groom's mother and various mother's friends were sipping on their punch when we walked in."
"I'm talking about the type of religious where skirts were below the knees and we blessed the food before serving ourselves."
At this point, not enough Hail Marys could reverse time.
"We were in wayyy too deep and had to watch the poor bride open our gift in front of everyone and put in on display for everyone to see. Most other friends bought her pajamas or teddie's that reached mid thigh."
"The worst part about it was that the mom was writing a list for thank you cards and the bride had to dictate each individual toy we got to the mom to write down."
"I still have that very awkward thank you card on my fridge today."
Redditors were confused as to why such a group would attend a lingerie party.
"Well nobody reasonable would expect a "lingerie" party to include awkward extended family." – wannabejoanie
"Also, no one would expect a super religious bride to have a lingerie party, unless I'm just thinking crazy here."
"That just seems really strange to me." – iamtehryan
Those who have attended or hosted similar types of parties shared their experiences.
"I went to a super religious friend's regular bridal shower once, and the older ladies bought her toys right alongside cookware. It was... strange. She later mentioned that she never felt comfortable using any of the 'fun' gifts." – othybear
"I mean, I'm fairly religious. Waited til marriage.. yada yada..."
"I had a lingerie party (granted ONLY my bridesmaids, as it was my 'bachelorette' party). I very much still use and enjoy those gifts almost 4 years later. Sex is mistreated by religious people."
"It's not supposed to be secret, taboo, and bland. So definitely uncomfortable to have a party like this with anyone who isn't a close peer/friend. But not completely weird even when religious." – nerdygnomemom
"I had just started bible college in 2013. A girl on my floor had just gotten engaged, and was having a lingerie bridal shower and I got her lingerie along with a funny gag gift."
"She opened the gag gift (she didn't know me well yet) first and found what I thought would be hilarious... WD-40 & a thong made out of floss. Dead silent. It was incredibly uncomfortable for everyone and I entirely regretted it." – theladyBlue32
The lack of a healthy discussion about sex can confuse religious adolescents.
"Am a christian and it's sad just how little the church talks about something that's supposed to be actively enjoyed during marriage."
"No real sex ed, no real talks about managing emotions and hormones during teenage years, no talks about how to ensures both parties are pleased besides 'attend to each others' needs.'"
"What needs? How do you attend to them?"
"Depending on where you go, oral and anal sex may or may not be on the table. There is no real discussion about how to have a healthy sex life. In my experience, toys are usually looked down upon."
"Again, this being the thing that christians are supposed to save for after marriage, because that is how sex is meant to be practiced and enjoyed."
"Even though I'm waiting until marriage for both religious and personal reasons, the way sex isn't talked about by most churches doesn't exactly sound super enjoyable." – CCtenor
"I had a religious friend get married at 19. She was a super sweet but also super shy girl. I'm talking permanently hunched shoulders from constantly trying to be invisible."
"The invite for the bridal shower was a standard one and her registry was all household appliances and whatnot. So all of her friends got her blenders and towels like you normally would."
"Her aunties however all bought her lingerie and naughty panties, they made her hold them up and they all took pictures and laughed and laughed."
"She was beat red and looked like she was in physical pain but kept an awkward smile plastered on and tried her best to weather it. It was the most cringey uncomfortable thing."
"No surprise that the marriage didn't last even two years. (But she's happily remarried and babied now)" – sweetjoyness
Although what transpires after this bridal shower could be a huge revelation.
"This was subsequently the busiest day the "local XXX shop" had been in a while...." – ReunionFeelsSoGood
The OP could have averted a potential crisis or incited panic by doing the following.
"Next time maybe just tell the intended bride that her gift is personal and she should open it up in private?"
"Myself? I would have grabbed that gift and been in my car and halfway home before Grace was finished." – my_sobriquet_is_this
"You should have just changed the namecards between your and her grandmothers gifts, duh." – Jjappss
Inquiring minds wanted to know the contents of the "thank you" note.
Ask and ye shall receive.
"Dear Kelsey, Thank you so much for your presence at my party. Your company enlivened my event, and your smile and warmth were a pleasure to everyone."
"I also would like to thank you for the ball gag, strap-on dildo, 12-inch black monster phallus, nipple clamps, and plug for the rear-end."
"I am reminded of our Lord's sacrifice and Isaiah 44:22: 'I have blotted out, like a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee.'"
"Best regards, Mrs. Charity Smith" – Devi1_May_Cry
There was no information regarding the bride-to-be requesting a gift receipt.
Bless her.