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Parents Who Cut Off All Contact With Their Adult Children Break Down Why They Did It

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Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

All parents want to support their children.

Of course, when they grow up and fly the coop, they can't always help them out of every pickle.

But every so often, when their children find themselves in a bad place or are struggling financially or emotionally, most parents will help their children out without a second thought.

Until that is, their children begin to take advantage of their generosity or find themselves getting into trouble a little too often.

It's situations like these where sadly, the best thing parents can do to help their children, is to cut ties, either temporarily, or in extreme cases, permanently.


Redditor ARatherOddOne was curious to hear the heartbreaking circumstances which led parents to sever communication with their children, leading them to ask:
"Parents who have gone No Contact with your adult children, what happened?"

Substance Abuse

"Sigh."

"He’s an addict who kept stealing from me."

"I had to draw a line."- Readsumthing

"I went no contact with my daughter."

"She had serious drug and alcohol issues."

"I had to lock up my prescription meds."

"She was also mentally ill but refused to take meds to treat it."

"Illicit pills."

"Yeehaw."

"Prescribed pills."

"Nope not gonna take them."

"I finally drew the line when she threw my suitcase at me while visiting her and threatening to kill me."- KrankySilverFox

Untenable Demands

"Our mentally ill son told us we had to do exactly what he told us to do (and could not push back on his requests or even explain our point of view), or we would never see our grandson."

"It was emotional terrorism."

"We told him those conditions were unacceptable to us, and he went no contact."

"Shortly thereafter, his wife divorced him, won custody, and encouraged us to continue building a relationship with our grandson."

"Today, our son wonders why we will not come to family events (and just 'ignore each other') when he is around."

"He set clear boundaries (no contact), and we still believe in respecting those boundaries until he tells us otherwise."- nielsondc

Rocky Relationships

"My brother basically has no contact with my parents."

"Basically it boils down to him getting divorced and remarried after 20 years and then demanding they never talk to the ex ever again (they got along well) and immediately accept and shower the new wife with love and affection even though the first couple interactions were her telling them how crappy they were as parents and how they didn’t love him."- Hopeful-Translator70

"So, I’ll tell this as a third party."

"My wife’s mother and her sister had a falling out."

"It was a slow burn."

"I’ve been part of the family for close to 25 years now and my wife has told me stories of how her older sister and their mother didn’t get along well."

"Couldn’t tell you who instigated the fights or anything, but my wife told me on many occasions the two of them would get in to shouting matches, objects would get thrown, things like that."

"My mother-in-law, until recent years, could be very difficult to get along with."

"My wife’s sister has a very Alpha, bullheaded personality."

"Not just when dealing with their mother, but you could see it in how she treated her (now ex) husband and their children."

"I’m not certain which straw broke the camels back but their already turbulent relationship was further strained when her sister moved several states away and took the kids with her, virtually never to been seen again."

"It’s been over 10 years since their move and I want to say her sister has come to visit maybe twice?"

"This past Christmas my wife and I went to see her mom and while visiting, her sister was brought up in conversation."

"Her mother said, 'I can tell you, she’ll never step foot in my home again'.”

"But didn’t elaborate."

"I don’t think there was ever anything like drugs or legal troubles involved, only two really dominant, aggressive personalities that clashed virtually every time they met."- Deftallica

Difference In Beliefs

"My wife and I recently made the very painful decision to completely cut all ties with our oldest son because he has become a dangerous believer in that Qanon sh*t."- GlooBloo92

Unworthy Partners

"My grandmother just did this to my aunt. It's because she doesn't approve of her new fiancé."- jdog_014

A Simple Minded Grudge

"My older brother went NC with my dad first."

"Reasons are mostly my brother."

"He's got mental disorders and never went to therapy to fix them."

"Then he went NC with me since my mom enables my brothers toxic behavior."

"Basically sponged off my mom and demanded money from her and my poor mom gave in."

"When my brother had a son, I finally wanted all of us to meet him and reunite (we all live in different states. Bro in Cali, parents in Ohio and Me in Washington)."

"When I paid for everyone tickets to visit me in Washington my brother flipped out since my dad was coming so he went NC on my mom.'

"Again let me emphasize my parents and I have done nothing my brother has very toxic behavior and will hold grudges for million years."

"I truly believe he has undiagnosed autism and he was bullied so badly back in Ohio where we grew up from school he's scorned and blames my parents which isn't their fault."

"Dad pretty much gave up trying and my mom keeps trying especially to see her grandson but my toxic brother keeps us NC."- Wesmom2021

No Reason At All

"My ex went NC with our son."

"He kicked him out of his house when my son turned 18, even though he had medical needs and no job."

"'Dad' called to tell me that he did it, and to strongly recommend that I kick him out, too."

"Not because he had done anything wrong, just because."

"Of course I didn't, because I don't believe children are disposable objects and I couldn't see what he was supposed to learn while living on the streets and eating out of garbage cans."

"They had some sporadic contact after that until his dad remarried and moved out of state."

"Now my ex (thankfully) hasn't called in about 6 years."

"My son still lives we me because he can't work and you can't live off only $1200 in monthly disability payments."

"That man was very toxic and abusive to us and we both have PTSD from living with him."

"Knowing he won't be calling either of us ever again is a huge relief."- Xylorgos

A Lamp

"She was physically violent, lied, threw things at me, stole from me."

"But the final straw was she wanted my lamp and was moving out."

"I said no."

"Left."

"Came back to lamp gone."

"She screams she didn't take it, how dare I accuse of her something she didn't do and called my mother and sisters to complain how I accused her of stealing."

"They called and harassed me about accusing my daughter of stealing and that I needed to apologize."

"A week later, in the garage, in the far corner under a box was the lamp."

"She admitted she did it and I still needed to apologize because she didn't steal it." - Reddit

Cutting off ties with your children, or any family member might feel like an utterly unfathomable thing to do.

Unfortunately, sometimes the first step toward forgiveness and recovery is letting go.

Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life? Let us know in the comments below.

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