"When I was 20..."

When I was 20, I was presented with a really wonderful promotion. It required me to fly to a nearby state for a week of training. I was super ecstatic about the whole thing... until I remembered a friend of mine complaining about her struggles with getting a passport. So, I promptly declined the promotion. My superiors were really stumped as to why I turned down the promotion.

Me: Unfortunately, I don't have a passport.

Manager: Boringberry... you've never flown before, have you?

Me: No. I have not.

Manager: You don't need a passport to fly within the country.

And then it hit me- my friend was going to Mexico. I was just going to a neighboring state. Once the realization hit, my superiors all erupted in laughter.

The story itself followed me when I went to training. My trainer personally greeted me and asked me if I had any difficulties getting a passport before laughing.

boringberry

"You know when the doctor..."

You know when the doctor hits your knee to check your reflexes? I honestly thought you were supposed to kick your leg up high. Like you felt it and you kick. It wasn't until I was 23 and moved to another country and had to do a physical that the doctor was like what are you doing?!

rainiejane2

"White meat and dark meat..."

Didn't learn until I was 20.

White meat and dark meat come from the same chicken.

IamTinyJoe

"Gave an entire speech to my class..."

Thought an orgasm and an organism were the same thing.

Gave an entire speech to my class at 13 years old, first month at a new school, about how I wanted to be a marine biologist and work with marine orgasms. Everyone was laughing and I didn't know why. The teacher didn't say anything just laughed along as well. A girl I'd just made friends with had to fill me in after class.

Turns out, they are definitely not the same thing.

JKell18

"I was convinced..."

I was convinced cheese grew on bushes till 12-13 years old. My brother is really proud of this.

livenow44

"Martha's Vineyard..."

Martha's Vineyard isn't just some land that rich people went to that was owned by Martha Stewart.

ughdrunkatvogue

"That you can actually perform..."

That you can actually perform maintenance on a lawnmower (i.e. oil changes) and not just buy a new one every few years. I moved a lot growing up and as a result we didn't always hang on to larger appliances so I was like 21 before I learned lawnmowers aren't basically disposable.

ablondedude

"Glass objects..."

Glass objects should not be put on the stove. Guess how I learned that.

yarrowsparrow

"I never knew..."

I was circumcised. I never knew I was circumcised until I went to the pediatrician and my mom told the pediatrician that I was circumcised.

ImVeryUnimaginative

"It was my favorite subject..."

The proper way to say mythology. It was my favorite subject and I talked about it all the time & not one person told me it wasn't MYthology. Found out when my teacher corrected something I read out loud in English class as a senior in HS. I still cringe...

Katnith