Single people can be thrown the most invasive questions. So of course, they have to find witty answers. This is partially to save face, but also to make the other person embarrassed for even asking.

u/Loveablealienstitch asked: What's the best response to "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"

Not gay.


For the last time mom, I'm not gay.


The GD question just won't go away. And I get asked every single day. But the way they ask it is not a disguise like, "how was your day, do you like to kiss guys?"


Do you need it or just want it?

"Do you need me to have a boyfriend?"


But what if they say "yes because you look miserable" or something like that, then what?


Get wrecked.


Your dad stopped returning my calls.


Not sure I can use that with my grandparents...


Where'd he go?

Look extremely shocked.

"I... I don't? Where did he go?!"

Then walk away.


"Don't you see him? He's right beside you". said in a very creepy/crazy voice also works



My wife would frown on it.


Mine won't share.




"Because people don't usually volunteer to be disappointed."


"Let's go to the un-amusement park!" - nobody ever.


Lucky duck.

I've just been incredibly lucky so far!


No green thumb.

"I don't have a green thumb! All my plants and boyfriends keep dying!"


I'll give it a go. I've never been killed.


What a hunk.


I do, he's in the refrigerator. Want a slice?


Gives a new definition to "My boyfriend is a hunk... of meat."


We love a good Vine reference.

I'm a lesbian, Karen.


I thought you were American.


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