oh-myyy-ribbon

Teachers lives feel like a safe full of mysterious secrets. Your teacher can appear like a celebrity when you're stuck behind a desk, watching them lecture all day at the front of a room. There's a line you typically can't cross and it's a rare treat to look behind the curtains. Maybe you find out they wear socks with flip-flops while they grocery shop at 11 o'clock at night? Would anyone believe you if you told them?


Reddit user, u/Jahgerwah, wanted to know what secrets you became privy to about your teacher when they asked:

Students of Reddit, what's the strangest thing you have ever discovered about your teacher?

Fun Times In The A.C.

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I grew up about an hour from Atlantic City. Every Saturday a casino (I think it was actually Trump's Castle) would send a charter bus to the local bus station. It would take you to the casino for free, and give you a $50 chip. Then they'd take you back to the bus station that night.

My math teacher would get on the bus, get the chip, go in the casino, cash it in, go back outside to the beach, sit on a bench, eat a hot dog for lunch, another for dinner, then get back on the bus that night and come home $45 richer.

itsagasgasgas

...How'd He Survive The First Time?

I have been out of school for years now, but back when I was still in high school, my history teacher/ rugby coach let it slip that he decided not to have a military career the second time they forgot him in the arctic.

Kylivanders

At Least Someone Read It

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He wrote a 179-page erotica novel back in 2006. It wasn't very good.

Edit: sorry y'all, nobody's guessed him but I'm not gonna say who it is so nobody figures out who I am

YouBeAGardeningTool

Where Are You?

My social studies teacher was in the live-action Scooby Doo movie from 2002 (it was filmed in my city). He's just an extra in a party scene, but whenever it was brought up he lost his sh-t about it.

korjubzo7

lost his sh-t in a good way or a bad way?

MyPasswordIsCherry

Hired On His Merits Alone

Middle school teacher at parochial school was a bartender in a gay bar. He was not gay, just loved the bar scene and extra dough.

hutimuti

Was he hot?

this_will_go_poorly

Nobody hires ugly bartenders!

Wow that came across shallow. When I was bartending we had to rate applicants, non-hots were non-hires.

Oh man so shallow.

BioMetricMacy

It's Always Important To Bring Your Personal Interests To Class

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My 9th grade teacher accidentally pulled up porn while trying to do a power point.

reluctantdragon

Anything To Make It To The Last Bell

My math teacher was an alcoholic who put liquor in his coffee to get through the day

SearchingForKokomo

I know it's horrible in real life but if this was a sitcom character I'd love him

this_will_go_poorly

He was a nice guy. I think he started drinking because of back problems :(

SearchingForKokomo

Opening Up To A World Of Glam

My senior year of high school I discovered my English teacher was a drag queen.

He is a straight man, he just loves the thrill of drag. He actually made a very attractive woman. I don't think he does it anymore due to his age, but it was certainly interesting to learn. The only way we found out was because we needed a drag queen for a musical production the school was putting on and he was the first to volunteer. He then let the theatre kids know that he does drag all the time.

Super cool teacher. I actually miss his class.

Cosplaybaby29

No One Thought To Ask. No One Knew...

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My wacky sixth grade reading teacher killed his wife and son and buried them in his back yard.

During that school year. It took a while for anyone to catch on because he told neighbors she had moved away with the kid.

KevWill

Ever discovered some bizarre secret about a teacher in your life? Share it with us!

H/T: Reddit

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If you've ever worked with kids you know that their honesty and lack of filter can sometimes make them cringeworthy - and pretty hilarious.

If you haven't (or you don't have a thick skin) then you might not be able to appreciate just how funny kids can actually be. For those who can, this article should be a blast.

Reddit user moosepajamas asked:

Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a student say?

The answers could sometimes be insulting, sometimes silly, and sometimes downright baffling - just like kids themselves!


September 31

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One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th.

He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh." Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"

- RedditStateOfMind

Jesus

I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said: "Man, I need to practice."

Without missing a beat the kid next to him says "My mom says I need Jesus."

- moosepajamas

Shown Up By A 5th Grader

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Was tutoring after-school a couple years ago. A kid asked "What time is it?"

I joked "Time for you to get a watch."

He responded "Time for you to get a new joke" without a moment's hesitation.

I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.

- Garlic_And_Sapphires

Jogathon

I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.

Student: "So I pay you and you make me run?"

Me: "Yeah, that's actually how it goes."

Student: "This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run."

Me: "uhhhh...."

- estrogyn

Rosa

Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked what happened.

To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"

- almost_queen

The Moon

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I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted out, "Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It's supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!"

- cubfanbybirth

Physically

Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?"

Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?"

It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...

- Allisade

The Ladies

First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess.

Me - "Why are you late?"

Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says "The ladies love this!"

Sits down like nothing happen with no smile.

- BoBoShaws

Synchronized

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He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"

I lost it in class.

- bunsenbernerr

It's A Miracle

I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as "miracle rounds". He legit thought that's what they were called 😂😂 I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol.

- royalredhead

The Pizza Guy

I was sharing information about math in art to my students (they're about 13 years old) and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said: "The pizza guy?"

I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!"

We were looking at The Last Supper.

- catpflug

Astronomy

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"I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn't even brought up horoscopes yet and we're 6 weeks in."

- chrisrayn

Budget Cuts

I teach band. One day I'm working with the high school jazz band and we're going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.

One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we're going to work on, sees that it's blank, looks up and says "Wow, budget cuts must've hit us hard, huh?"

- SquirrelSanctuary

Life Choices

Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked "does everyone understand my choices?" One of my favorite students ever piped up and said "Are we talking about your proof or how you've chosen to live your life?"

- coldstainlessnail

Before

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Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a super hero day. A student said I looked like Captain America - before the super soldier injections.

- numero1uno

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