an Oh Myyy Property

Some of us are gregarious, loud, thrill seeking (often obnoxious) introverts. We love everything and anything social. Are opposite friends are introverts. We look at them and can't help but feel... they just need a little friendly shove into the fun. Not so. Often they are perfectly content in their quiet company of one. Many do have a crippling social anxiety that can drive them to some interesting predicaments when they are thrust into a public situation.


Redditor u/maelstrommartin wanted everyone to take a deep breath and discuss... What's the weirdest thing you've done as a result of social anxiety? Exit stage right...

Now you see me, now...

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I was in a dance class a few years ago and we had to do improv. Everyone there was a WAY better dancer than me, so I had a difficult time just with that. Well, my teacher gave us 5 mins to come up with a dance to a whole song and you'd have to dance in front of the class alone. I noped the hell out of there and ran and hid in the bathroom. My cell phone was still in the classroom, but at that point I didn't care. I decided to sneak out the front door of the studio. Well there's a small problem there. The walkway to the parking lot was in front of the giant windows of my classroom. I decided to just duck down and run the best I could, hoping no one saw me. I made it to the car and had my dad run in and get my phone. Didn't go back to my class for a few weeks there.

Island-radio

Finding a supportive branch...

Climbed a tree to get away from people at an outdoor party. Stayed there until everyone left and then went home.Captain_Frying_Pan

This seems like a good idea until someone catches you, and you look creepy af. It happened to me when I was a freshman in college. Ugh I thought I had deleted this memory from my brain... kittentime999

Meow...

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I once hid under the table with the host's cat to get some space from people. It backfired when someone went to get snacks and made a funny joke and I laughed.... jacyerickson

That's the guy I want to chill with at the party... novanationer98

Hey man sounds like you had a good time. green-lights

Well hey there Mrs...

One time when I was a kid, I was calling up a girl I liked to ask her if she wanted to hang out. Her mom answered the phone and in my awkward teenage bumbling I asked her mom if SHE wanted to hang out.

I'm still not quite over that one, nearly 10 years later. AfroNinja117

To be fair, Stacy's mom did have it going on. pex18

This happened to an 8th grade student of mine, the poor thing. He called a girl to ask her to the 8th grade dance, the mom answered and he inadvertently asked the mom to the dance. The next day the entire 8th grade new about it, plus all the 8th grade teachers. I really felt bad for him! DarkToreadorRed

The Annie Wilkes route is NOT the way to go....

It was 3rd grade. I had a presentation the next day that I really didn't want to do so I took a hammer and sat in the backyard trying to break my own ankle. I just ended up bruising it because I couldn't go full force. mystarsmysky

I used to purposefully trip or throw myself down the stairs in elementary and middle school in the hopes that I'd get injured enough to not have to go to school. acanoforangeslice

Excuse me, that's my imaginary friend calling...

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I faked an angry phone call because I was too afraid to just get out of line...

I was picking up my little sister from school, and I didn't have anything better to do and I didn't want her to have to wait on the long car line, so I got there 40 minutes early. About five minutes before school let out, she told me she was going home with a friend. I was so scared that the people behind me in line would think I was creepy if I just left the line after all that time, so I pretended to be on the phone, got out of my car and rummaged through my trunk while acting like I was angry at the person on the other end of the call, complete with annoyed arm movements and all, then got back in and drove off. Scoutregister

Whatever you say...

After work, I decide to get a beer at a bar. I teach night classes on a side of town I'm not used to, so I go into random sports bar and I sit alone. I do not watch most sports. Later... Me : (in my mind): it's getting late. I should go home.

Random guy: hey, this Texans game is good! Can't believe! (something footbally happened)

Me (pretending to know football stuff): yeah, these dudes are dope! The Texans are in for some trouble if they mess up!

Guy: FINALLY! Someone on my side!!

The guy buys me beer. We are now best friends. Turns out we are the only fans of whatever the other team is in this bar. We bond over our outsider status. I have no idea what to say and as the night goes on, he keeps buying beer. I have pretended to like football for too long to come clean now. I end up watching the whole game. Our team lost. I didn't get home until midnight. Chumbolex

Feeling Flushed...

The other day at my small office I went to the bathroom to fix my shirt which I had worn inside out. When I went into the stall the bathroom was empty. As I flipped my shirt around someone walked into the stall next to me. I also used some toilet paper to wipe my nose (slight cold) and dropped the paper in the bowl. This triggered the auto flush sensor and it flushed. My predicament began when I realized I also had to pee, but since I had already used TP and flushed my twisted mind decided this would seem really weird to the person next door. "Why would someone use the bathroom, flush... and then stand up and pee again?" said no one ever... But I couldn't, they might recognize my shoes and know who I was.

So instead I hatched a clever deception. I left the stall and washed my hands to seem normal, despite that I hadn't even used this bathroom. After drying I walked loudly to the exit and opened the door into the hall, then I said "oh excuse me" like I had accidentally bumped into someone else coming in, and walked right back in. I made sure to change the sound of my footsteps walking more quietly so that stall-man would think I was a different person and not some freak playing bathroom charades. Then I went to the urinal and peed and then washed my hands again, using the farthest sink so he couldn't spot my shoes. trialobite

Strike 3... you're out!

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When I was in middle school the teacher had us all read a chapter aloud to the class. Nervously awaiting my turn to read I started to read aloud to the class while someone else was currently reading. Not only once but three times. Sox829

Oddly this was something that didn't bother me, even though my anxiety was raging. I just really hated sharing a book with someone and seeing how they reacted to me being that close to them... to this day I don't know if that was real or imagined. AptCasaNova

Can this blessing be gluten free?

I'm from Ireland (a Catholic enough country). I deliver pizzas and one night a women said "God be with you" as I was walking away and I stumbled over my words and said "peace be upon you" like the pizza Pope. Cringed pretty hard walking away as she just looked at me.

Edit: toppings be upon you my children . gametycoon

"Pizza upon you!" laskman

Simple Enough...

I once stalked a guys social media accounts until I found the school his daughter went to so I could find a buzzbook/address book of that school that said his email address rather than taking 15 second to give him a call. On a number he gave me. maelstrommartin

Some people can't handle love...

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There was a car full of 5 guys on the highway next to me. We were the only two cars on the road at the time, going the same speed. One of the guys in the back noticed me, then commented to the other guys to look over, too. So, they're talking and laughing and waving, pretending to clench their chests & whatnot ... I was so flustered by the attention that I didn't realize that I was sloowwlllyyyy drifting my car into their lane ... until I inadvertently ran them off the road. I'll never forget the looks on their faces, as they changed from amusement to sheer terror. It was part "is this a joke?" Then, "what the hell is she doing?" mixed with "oh my god we're gonna die ..." I couldn't stop it though; I was no longer in control, my shyness was.

Another time, I was coming down the steps at my university, when a guy at the bottom of the stairs said loudly to his friend "hey isn't that the girl you're in love with from [our class]?!" So the guys are laughing and looking in my direction, drawing even more attention. I proceeded to turn bright red, get super nervous and ... fall down the concrete stairs. Every. Single. One. pharmdoll

Is she gone?

One time I was with my girlfriend my senior year of high school and we were just cuddling in my room and I got a really bad anxiety attack so I went to my bathroom and just sat in there and tried to calm down and I had to text my parents to go up to my room and tell my girlfriend to go home lol I felt so embarrassed... it was awful. Pudnite

Always eat alone...

In middle school, I'd give lunch money to a friend and ask her to bring my tray to me so I didn't have to walk through the lunch room. I'd also ask people to take my tray back for me once finished eating. Even worse than that, in third grade I got super nervous when people would see me eat. I also had a fear of choking, so I'd only eat ketchup packets. I always loved ketchup and I guess it was a way to get some sort of salty flavor that reminded me of food without actually eating anything solid. People would give me their ketchup packets and I'd eat like ten or more at lunch time and that was it. If we had something good, I'd sneak it in my pocket and once back inside the classroom, I'd sneak it into my backpack and eat it at home that day. For some reason, my fear of choking was much smaller at home. I was an odd kid. Thankfully my social anxiety is a pretty small factor in my life now, although anything is small compared to that I guess lol. missmarissaaa

Get out! I gotta go!

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When entering a public restroom, if there already happens to be somebody in there, I'll wash my hands uselessly until they leave. If somebody else walks in before or just as they leave, I generally decide I don't really need to be there and live that stomach- busting hell until I can find another restroom to start the process all over again. Surewhynot62189

Thanks Dad... 

When I was 8 or 9 I was at my cousin's birthday party. At the end of the party every kid got a huge goodie bag filled with candy and toys to take home. So she sat on makeshift throne in the middle of the room, and every kid had to go up one by one and get a goodie bag from the princess. I noped the heck out and snuck back to my dad's car.

On the ride home I was really regretting my decision tho, and hating myself for being so awkward. So I started crying. That's when dad said he grabbed me a goodie bag before he left. He knew me so well. Inalphillip

Keep your receipts...

Ooooooh, boy.

I was at the mall, not intending to spend much money at all. I was by myself and I tried to avoid all of those annoying mall salesmen that desperately try to bring you over to their booths.... Well, I looked at one of them and.... Ended up spending over 100 dollars on a nail-kit because I was too anxious to say no. My friends think Im an idiot. Honestly, I couldn't agree more. nooneislucky

Had a similar thing happen to me cute saleswoman trying to sell me nail products. She starts with a hand massage and her sales pitch I waited till she was done (20 mins and both hands massaged) then finally just said I was broke and walked away. Embarrassing as heck but at least I got a hand massage. theYotaguy

Kindred Vendors...

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When I started high school, I used to hide behind a vending machine during lunch because I didn't know anyone. A few days later, I noticed someone else hiding behind the vending machine right across from me. We became friends shortly after. BackToClassics

I love a happy ending. ItsYaBoyChipsAhoy

Count your steps...

Asked a worker in the mall for assistance the other day. she looked at me really weird and said she didn't worked there. i internally freaked out. i said "i know" and asked if she could still help, she agreed and turned around to walk in the direction i needed help (facing away from me) and i immediately power walked out of there. sketchbookassassin

Mind your dining manners people... 

I recently moved to a new city, and there's a Subway across the street from my complex. I decided to go there for dinner and wanted to get a footlong for that night and another one for tomorrow. Except I'm a big guy, they wouldn't believe I wouldn't eat them both in one sitting. So being the idiot I am I ordered one for me and had my phone out pretending to get an order from my "brother." Pretty sure they knew, pretty sure they judged, jokes on me though, I ate them both in one sitting anyways.

EDIT: obligatory thank you for the gold kind stranger! Also it's been really cool to see the comments of other people who have been in similar situations, or are using these posts to further look into their own poor eating choices. I know this experience was a wake up call for me, too, so I'm glad it's both being enjoyed and informative 😎

HylianAlchemist

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Addiction makes you do strange things...

Addictions are dangerous. It takes a hold of your life and strangles it. It festers slowly and disintegrates your world. Well most of them do. We all have behavioral addictions that often become a quirky character trait. Sometimes it can actually be cute. Well certain behaviors within reason that is. Some can be downright annoying and fodder for the therapist.

Redditor u/milanamilana asked people to divulge a few things, asking... What's your "strange addiction"?

Ah the cones...

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When I am out walking in wooded areas I spend a lot of time trying to find pine cones to stand on.

I do it because when you find a suitably dry one it feels amazing and sounds so good. Do it. Tends to work best if they are stood upright. wewannagetloaded

The sound of music...

I will listen to music for hours on end while walking around a room, imagining various stories and scenarios. Glissando365

I do that constantly. It doesn't interfere with my life but I love coming up with all kinds of stories and dropping myself into them. ParsnipPizza2

Flesh eater.

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Chewing the inside of my mouth. classik_e

My 30 year old sister has done this her whole life, and I have never seen or met anyone else that does it as noticeably as her. She'll take the second knuckle of her index finger and push her cheek in so she can chew on it. She's gotten better about not doing it as often. I've never asked her why she does it. yolkfacekilla

Daydream Believer. 

I'm not sure how common this is but shopping for million dollar penthouses and yachts that I will never be able to afford. I just like to dream I guess. ShellSwitch

I do this a ton, it's my night time wind down in bed activity to look at /r/roomporn and imagine myself as the buyer. What I would change, what I like etc etc. ExeterMegaladon

Yuck! 

This is so gross but I am addicted to picking. Pimples, dry skin, scabs, anything pick-able I will dig at it till I bleed. No I am not on drugs. It's so bad that I am contemplating hypnosis. Annon8765

I'm so hangry!

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Going through the kitchen in search of food, giving up, then lowering my standards and looking again. bibi-chocobun

I do this ALL THE TIME!!!!

I open the fridge, look around, take a mental note of what is there and close the doors and walk away. an hour later i come back and open the fridge, look around and think of what i might want... as if my stomach wants it, but my brain says no. tunersharkbitten

Look at the people...

Analyzing other people when I'm out in public. I enjoy trying to figure out who they are just by what I see. DARKcsb

I like doing this with my mom.

We would guess "who went with who" at the food court in the mall when I was growing up. We would look at people with their trays of food and try to guess who their significant other was waiting at the table.

My mom was almost always right. It's a fond memory :) girlroseghost

Staying mute...

I'm addicted to avoiding phone calls. QiNavigator

I purposefully reply to texts with at least hour delay so it's not fishy that I am never able to accept any calls.OresteiaCzech

I found a reality series...

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Donating sperm to lesbians.

I started off donating to some friends then they began recommending me to other lesbians through a FB group.

It's so rewarding and I've fathered 7 so far. Socialist7

Thank you for reading! 

Reading creepy stories on Reddit, which I guess isn't that strange. Alec122

And then regretting it when you try to sleep? Because that's what I do. CautiousMusic

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Sam Tabone/WireImage via Getty Images, Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic via Getty Images

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If you talk to anyone studying English as a second language, they'll tell you how hard it is to learn. If you grew up speaking English as your only language, it probably doesn't seem that difficult; but as a bilingual native English speaker who learned a second language later in life I can tell you, English is WEIRD!

English has so many inconsistencies in spelling, pronunciation, verb conjugation...don't get me started. American English, UK English, and Australian English all spell things differently and the same word can have completely different meanings or connotations.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I started learning Japanese, in which a word is always pronounced exactly like it looks like it should be, that I gained a real understanding of how hard English would be for someone to try to learn as a second language. Even as a native speaker who loves the English language and writes for a living, I sometimes struggle with its many homophones (there, their, and they're, for example) and grammatical inconsistencies. Even our mnemonics that are taught in school to help remember these differences don't always hold true. "I before E, except after C" is something most American children are taught in elementary school, but what about neighbor, weight, and veil?

Redditor STUDkatz asked:

What's something weird about English (or another language) that native speakers don't think about?

Below, you'll find an assortment of the weird quirks of the language that you've probably never thought about.

My Brain Hurts

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English might be difficult. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

-SpeeeeedBoost

It's Right, But Why?

A native speaker has a knowledge of implicit grammar (through learning naturally as a child) that would require an adult years to study and review.

You're spewing out the correct answer but god help you if someone asks you to show your work.

-BaanThai

I am an editor and I still sometimes have trouble when asked why something should be a certain way. I just KNOW it's wrong (or correct) and I can't always explain why.

-Lil-Maece

It took until i was 16 to realize there's actually a rule to figure out if you should use a or an... Before that (and admittedly since) I was just going with the one that didn't sound dumb out loud

-booneruni

Unnecessary Combination

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People assume a lot of silly things, such as words that can be combined always are.

Examples: "Yeah I maybe doing that later." or "I do that everyday."

I want to punch myself for writing that.

-PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET

Running A Bit Long

Run has hundreds of uses (forms). Last I checked it was a little over 250. You run a program, you run over toads in your car, the chicken run has a duck in it, The ads run too long on the TV, you run out of toilet paper, you run down to the shop in the car, you run up a bill at the shop after the assistant gave you the run around. You run into a friend but you have to run home as you had the runs and something was running down your leg. You run to the toilet but you run into a problem. Your kid is running a lemonade stand in the doorway. You're now running a little brown cable along your path. You hope nobody takes a picture and runs it in the paper as you are running for office. Your stance is against gun runners but you're hauling a little brown nuke right now. I've run out but there's more.

-PapaOoMaoMao

Sometimes The Joke Is In The Translation

Pakistani urdu-english speaker, there are a LOT of words that are absolutely hilarious when taken in the context of english but my 2 favorite have to be which is a letter in the urdu alphabet and is pronounced exactly like "Meme" and another which is a punjabi name which is literally spelled and pronounced "Butt", there is also a national level bakery brand called "Butt"

Urdu is a great language

-Theodoric___

Strength Or Weakness?

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There is a common nine letter word with only a single vowel in English.

That word is "strengths".

-Wobbles42

Ordered Descriptors

Adjectives have a specific order they are supposed to be arranged. For example, you would never say the green large five dragons. You would say the five large green dragons. The order that English typically follows for adjectives is:

1. Quantity or number

2. Quality or opinion

3. Size

4. Age

5. Shape

6. Color

7. Proper adjective

8. Purpose or qualifier

-TinkerTailorSoldjur

Rhymes with Confusion

Read and lead rhyme and so do read and lead, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.

-LinnyFlower

About Time You Realized It

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I never really appreciated the word "about" until I started learning French and realized there are about a couple dozen different words you have to learn about where in English we would just say "about." It's just about one of the most versatile and useful words we have.

-schnit123

Confusing Combos

Native English speaker here.

How irritatingly complex and nuanced English (and other Germanic languages) verbs are for having tons of common verbs that change meaning completely or only subtly with one flip of a preposition and sometimes even more so by stacking a few more on.

Put + on, in, out, off, toward, into, forth, away, up, up with, down, past

Set + on, off, out, in, up, down

Run + off, on, out, into, away, up, down, over, at, through

Take + on, out, in, away, up, over, off

Break + in, out, up, down, up with, into, out of away

Give + up, out, away, in, out

Get + on, in, out, up, down, away, away with, along, by, back, through, across, over, into, at

Work + up, up to, out, through

Come + in, out, by, across, through, over, at

Do + in, away with, over, up

Hang + up, in, out, out with, over, with, off, back

Then ones where the options are fewer, they're either somewhat related or *not at all*.

Chat vs chat someone up.

Make something up vs make out.

This list isn't exhaustive because I got tired of thinking but I've heard many a friend moan and groan about how every combination seems like a whole new word or phrase to memorize. That even if it looks familiar, they can't trust it. Most other languages just have a unique word for each idea or at least morphology that is somehow linked. Work + through makes sense in that it implies you're belaboring or in the midst of resolving something (imagine pushing *through* something). So some make at least a little logical sense. Put + up + with has no clue in it that it means to endure or tolerate. Come + over is just like "went from toward me above something?"

Set + off (an alarm) makes no sense at all. Isn't it actually going *on*?

Break + in (to use a new item for the first time, implying the start of the process of making it yours) — just "breaking" your boots is bad but if you do it on the inside, it's desired?

Give + out as in, "my car's engine gave out." (went kaput) Did it hand you a piece of candy?

If repeating doing something is "doing something over," then what do these mean:

"coming over"

"handing over"

"taking over"

"getting over"

At least in languages like Spanish that are better stocked in the logic department, these all are treated as different ideas that they are.

Venir a visitar

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EDIT: Spelling mistakes and additional examples.

-stanographer

H/T: Reddit

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