There is always that someone we've lusted after for way too long. When suddenly they show interest, somehow it ends up all falling a part, for better or for worse.
Often, there are obvious signs that what's about to go down shouldn't be happening. If we are lucky, we catch them before anything happens that we may end up regretting.
Saying 'no' is one of the most powerful things we can do, and there is no shame in doing so. Unfortunately in these cases, the reality did not match the fantasy.
One Reddit user asked: What made you have to turn down someone you actually really wanted to have sex with?
Here is what they had to say:
Play, But Play Safely--You Are Worth ItGiphy
He spent over an hour trying to convince me he didn't need to use a condom. He complained about it so much that I didn't trust him not to take it off when I was in a position not to notice.
So I told him the night was cancelled, dropped him off at his hotel (old friend driving through town), and haven't talked to him since.
Uh, I'm Pretty Sure That's Not How Your Body Works...
She said :"it's alright if you don't wash yourself for a long time, because after 3 or 4 days the body start excreting a natural soap."
Nope, nope, nope, motherf*kin' nope!
He'd Black Out, So She Backed OutGiphy
He had a girlfriend, plus I was in love with him, and he was just drunk and probably didn't even want me. Oh, and I was also a virgin. If I didn't turn it down, I'm sure for him it would be just a one time thing he'd prefer to forget once he's sober, but for me it would just break my heart.
When Friendship Comes First
She'd just broken up with her boyfriend (my friend at the time).
She made her intentions well known when she invited me over to her house in front of everyone.
I was a virgin at the time and would have loved to but I couldn't do that to a friend.
Not The Best Time To Bring Up Your Son
We were getting hot and heavy on my couch, and as I was taking off her top getting ready to have sex with her she mentioned how she couldn't wait to introduce me to her kids. I shrugged it off(I knew she was a single Mom). But, every time after that...she'd talk dirty, say something sexy, then she had to mention how I'd get along with her son. Or, she said that I could talk comic books with the boy when I came over. Yup. That killed my lust drive.
Third Time's The CharmGiphy
Same girl, 2 times. First time we were 19. I had just buried my father that day and was drinking myself into a coma. She kissed me and after a while go back to my room. I was too drunk to go through with it. For what ever reasons nothing went forward from that day. Skips a year or 2 into the future and we're both at a bar drinking. We go back to my place and we're making out. I step away to use the restroom before we start. 2min later I come back and she's already asleep in my bed topless. I get her woken up enough to put her bra back on, and then tuck her in for the evening. Again, we go dark after that for a few years.
Well, 5 years ago she's now separated from her abusive ex husband and living in the next state over. She comes to town for a week to watch her parents house while they go on vacation. Our old gang gets back together for an evening and the 2 of us are hitting it off once again. Except now we're both more mature and stay sober enough to actually go through with it. We now have 2 daughters and I can't Imagine a day without the 3 of them.
He called me his own name during foreplay.
Preg-no, but thank you.
She was baby crazy.
Like flat out stating "I want to use you for your sperm and condoms are not an option" style.
I was twenty, and absolutely not looking to be a father, so I declined.
So she went and f*cked a random guy at a New Years Eve party.
No Tears Left To Cry
I met this guy in college and we'd flirted a lot for about 6 months and had electric chemistry, but we were never able to time a hook up. One night, we wound up at the same party and were talking a ton, but my friends got too drunk or something, so I wound up having to leave early. Guy texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out after he left the party, and I said yes. I was all excited, especially since I'd had a 1 year dry spell, but then, as I was waiting for him to show up, I wound up watching a documentary about 9/11. It was the 10 year anniversary, so it was basically nonstop coverage that weekend. I was definitely drunk, which definitely meant I started crying, so I wound up telling him not to bother coming over. So yes, I turned down sex with someone because I was too sad about 9/11.
We DID finally end up sealing the deal about a month later, and had a FWB situation for the months that followed. Then, we actually wound up trying to date about 2 years after that, which was a giant dumpster fire. I never told him why I flaked when we were supposed to hook up that first time.
Videogames And Chill?
Had a friend/coworker come on to me at her apartment. One day she texts me asking to come over to hang out, which I'd done before and mainly consisted of playing some Mario kart 64 or watching TV. When I get there she answers the door in just her panties and a shirt which totally caught me off guard. While we were watching tv she says her and her boyfriend were in a rough patch of not having sex and she wasn't too happy with that. She then asks if I can help end that problem for her and starts to rub herself through her panties while staring right at me. I start to freak because as much as I'd wanted to, I had a girlfriend. I tell her I can't and it wouldn't be right to both of our S/O's, even though deep down I wanted to. We proceeded to watch tv for about 10 awkward minutes before I told her I had to leave. Drove home with the bluest of balls that night.
She Didn't Need A Hookup--She Needed A Friend.Giphy
She had a lot of issues and has medication for them. She asked me if she could come over one day because she was having a breakdown. She came over, sat down and just burst into tears. I calmed her down, held her close and did my usual stupid cheering up thing I do which made her feel better. Through all the cuddling and holding one thing led to another and before we knew it all our clothes were off.
I suddenly realized that she was on a new medication that she was just prescribed and was high as a kite. I have a rule that I don't do stuff with someone new for the first time if they're under the influence of anything so I said we should stop and called it a night. Just chilled. Became good friends and have been for over a year now. She's a good friend and she may have a lot of issues but she powers through them one day at a time and I respect her immensely for it.
What's That Smell?
He was charming, funny, model-level good looks, smart, and a hard worker. I was counting my lucky stars. I never saw his home until we were on the verge of having sex. I walked in the door and it smelled like shit. Literally. He had no pets, and he lived alone. When he opened the door the smell came pouring out and practically hit me in the face. He asked me what was wrong because I started to gag before walking through the door.
Let me be clear: I am not exaggerating here. I'm not prissy or sensitive to smells. I worked part time in the baby room of a daycare and spent a good portion of my days at the time cleaning up baby shit. I worked my summers on a farm cleaning up shit every year.
This guy's apartment smelled like a sewage processing plant, and when I tried to enter the doorway thinking "maybe he just has a plumbing problem" it was very evident that this guy had probably never cleaned a damn thing in his life because the living room was a disaster zone not fit for humans to occupy.
My vag sealed itself shut and I had to leave. I told him I couldn't come in anymore and left. When we talked later I told him the mess was a problem and I couldn't come over till he cleaned up, and he said that he was hoping I would "just take care of that now that we're getting serious."
A Good Guy, Right HereGiphy
I'd only recently met this girl, started dating and I was so super into her. We went to a fancy dress party (Halloween) and were both drinking loads and she came back to mine and started to get down to business, but she was way drunker than me. I thought we were getting on so incredibly well up to that night, I didn't want our first time together to be a drunken blur. So I stopped her in her tracks and she eventually, reluctantly agreed - room then went spinny for her, and she threw up shortly after... I managed to clean up the bed & bedsheets (well... took them off the bed immediately) and get her to bed. The following morning, she had zero recollection of any of it - she could remember being sick in my bathroom and I wasn't gonna bring up the bedsheets and her not taking no for an answer.
That was almost seven years ago now. She's currently 4 months pregnant with our first child. About a year ago (when the #metoo and consent/drunk consent was all the rage) the topic came up and I broke it to her that on that first night, she'd not taken no for an answer and had been sick on my bed sheets. She was mortified and embarrassed but it's all fine, obviously.
The funniest part? She apologized for when she woke up the following morning in my bed and though she said nothing, she'd been silently judging me because my bedsheets were in the wash and I had no covers on my mattress or quilt and she was questioning what kind of a weirdo would have no bedsheets... Always makes me laugh thinking back on that night. Still love her to bits and delighted our first time together wasn't a drunken blur.