People Share The Stupidest Way They Have Ever Hurt Themselves

Sometimes life just doesn't have our best interests at heart.

You've hurt yourself in the kitchen, you've hurt yourself in the garden, you've hurt yourself working around the house. But have you ever hurt yourself while drinking water? Have you ever injured yourself while looking at the microwave?

Some of us have, and it's embarrassing. But it totally makes for a great story.

u/observer32 asked:

What's the stupidest way you've hurt yourself?

Here were their stories.

Totino's: A Sacrifice

I went to take a plate of totinos pizza rolls out of the microwave. The plate was so hot that i dropped it. Molten cheese bounced up and was burning through my ankle. I went to stick my foot in the sink to run it under cold water as if i am flexible enough to stand on one foot and get my leg up that high. I fell backwards and cracked my head like an egg. I had a third degree burn on my ankle, second degree burn on my fingers and 6 staples to the dome. For pizza rolls at age 30.


Down For The Count

As a security guard I was running to deal with an issue and my flashlight came out of its pouch went between my foot and the ground.

Stepped on it and broke my ankle.


Go Go Gadget Stabilizer


I was 8 years old and running home on my lunch break so that I could watch inspector gadget, which came on at noon. I decided it would be neat to look down at my feet while I ran, and next thing I know I've run full speed into a parked car. I think I laid like a dead body on the road for a good 5 - 10 minutes it hurt so badly. I was late for my inspector gadget episode and never told anyone what happened.


-Dolphin Noises-

Alright, so my sister is only one year older than me and when we were very young (me 3, and her 4) we were in the bath together. I guess my mom thought this way was easier. She left to get something and my sister said that I should dive into the tub like a dolphin. Me, being the idiot toddler I was, decided this was a wonderful idea and dove right in. Had to get 3 or 4 stitches and a lifetime of stories told about it.


It's A Tie!

Remember when your parents told you to tie your laces or your would hurt yourself?

Well they were right. I was that kid who ran with untied laces. I fell and instinctively put both my arms out. I landed on my right hand/arm and managed to snap my forearm and dislocate my wrist.

As I had dislocated my wrist before, as I was accident prone. I attempted to 'pop' it back in my self in panic. I can't describe the crunchy noise that my arm made, or the pain I felt. I then had to walk to the nurses office at my school, and wait for my parents to pick me up ( they didn't think it was serious).

At the hospital the x-ray was a little extreme, and I had to have surgery to correct my arm. 14 years later, and my wrist still isn't the same, and it still hurts in the cold.

Life tip. Tie your laces!


Jigsaw Won This Round


I was finishing up this intense jigsaw puzzle, which was on a low table, so I spent the entire night crouching on the balls of my feet.

The next morning, my right foot turned purple and swelled up to the size of a large orange. I was on crutches for a couple of weeks.


Brain Stopped Working

When I was thirteen I was walking down my street and there was a bee that landed on me right under my eye. In a brilliant move I brain-farted and punched myself in the face trying to "swat" it away.


Get Away

My brother was teasing me while I was doing homework (think I was maybe 8 or 9 at the time) and after a few minutes, I snapped. Took my pencil, and went to jab him with the eraser end, so as to not hurt him too badly and get him to shut up. To get a bit more force behind it, I decided to wrap my index finger over the other end...the end with the point. I'm sure you can guess what happened next.

A lot of crying and a trip to the emergency room later, I had a pencil point being removed from my finger


This Is Why We Look Up


When I was about 16, I was telling some story to my sister's boyfriend. I was rather animated about it and began to flail my arms about.....until I hit the glass fixtures of our ceiling fan and showered glass upon myself. Part of the glass cut around my nose and I begin to rain blood. Was left with a nice scar and a decent story about situational awareness while speaking


Yer A Wizard

I was leaning over a fence post trying to bend straight a nail I'd just miss-hit and bent. Only rather than use the claw of the hammer, I used the face of the head of the hammer, slipped off and smashed myself in the forehead, a good 15 years later and I still have a scar on my forehead like a bad Harry Potter.


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