A Yummy Presidency

"Enjoy your pizza. Sleep in."

Wolfy9

Short term: Huge approval numbers.

Long term: Country has an obesity problem and worker productivity is at an all time low.

Not too much different than today, lol. Sold.

Heirdman

BREAKING NEWS tickertape tickaticka, TIMELINE FEBRUARY 2, 2020!

PIZZA SALES ALL OVER THE NATION UP 5,150%, IN RELATED NEWS THE NATIONAL PIZZA DELIVERYGUY HIRING CRISIS STILL CLIMBING AS DEMAND FOR IMMIGRANTS WILLING TO DRIVE PIZZAS ARE ADVERTISED WORLDWIDE

Krombopulos_Amy

Squad

"So I guess I gotta be something"

jimmers14

Might as well be president.

BTFoundation

What does that make us, some sort of Presidential Squad?

Daixiu

Smears

Don't forget toilet paper.

youenjoymyhood

This shows me you are prepared, practical and think of the small details. Would vote for you.

PointsGeneratingZone

I hope you don't run any smear campaigns.

CuriousCursor

The List

Please take me off your list.

ServantofShemhazai

Kinda makes me want to keep you on my list.

somethingwholesomer

Man does everything in his power to not become the president, and against all odds, he does anyway. Sounds like a plot of a bad comedy.

mgkbull

Current Affairs

Oops, wrong person.

Powerdwarf_Kira

Sounds familiar. I might have voted for you a few times already.

EuHag

Sympathy Vote

Would you consider being my friend?

Mleiha

Mr. Rogers 2020.

ZWQncyBkaWNr

Aw man :( you got my vote!

permareddit

This Sounds Familiar

"Have a beer for me."

original_heymark

I like beer. I still like beer.

CheetoManBAD

Do you like beer senator?

Chewsquatcha

Positive Spins

"I can still join you."

...perhaps I'd make a better running mate.

dr239

"I can still join you because we are the you-nited states. We're not the blue states, we're not the red states, we're the you-nited states."

death_of_field

Meow

I'll feed the cats.

Kaelaface

A president we need, but do we deserve? You'll feed the cats while we rebuild a nation.

Alpinestarhero

Clearly he means feeding the Fat Cats of Wall Street! Don't be seduced!

timoumd

The Only Real Question

"What am I supposed to do?"

I think I have a shot.

StrategyGameventures

I'd love for someone to bother asking (and not in f*cking survey form).

sturnus-vulgaris