Well, this relationship is probably over. And it's probably going down in flames. There are some things you just can't unsee.
What would your reaction be if you walked in on your spouse cheating on you? Caught in the act? Can a relationship move on from that?
Here were some of the answers.
Had a really close group of friends who would always prank each other. One of my mates found out the Facebook password of another, so while on Skype the whole call - included myself, logged into his Facebook account (being 7 people) to make a stupid status. At the same time my partner of 5 years was messaging him on Facebook about how good sex was last night and about meeting up again.
College girlfriend and we lived together for a year after I realized she would always have her phone on silent or just plain ignore calls from "Jennifer." One day I write down the number and call it a week later. It ends up being her other boyfriend who she had never broken up with before she came to college. Neither of us knew about each other and she had being visiting him when she went home to see her parents on some weekends and breaks. Broke up soon after and her mom said that sometimes you just have to accept things and how I owed her an apology for breaking up with her. It gets worse but that was the gist.
Walked in on my girlfriend while she was having sex with another guy. "What are you doing here?!" she says. "You gave me a key, remember? I ended up not working today and wanted to surprise you."
15 years later she reaches out, leaves me a message that she'd like to talk. I figure she's doing some 12-step thing or something and wants to make amends.
Nope. She wanted to try and sell me on Amway.
Came home early. They were fast enough to get dressed but not in a natural state of being, if that makes sense. It was obvious something was just going down. Very cliched "got walked in on and tried to play it cool" like you see in tv. I asked him to leave and he did.
We argued, she tried to lie but soon confessed. It wasn't the first time she cheated but it was the first time that I caught her in the act. Everything in the past was just texts and stuff. She said that she never slept with the other people and it was just pics and flirting. In retrospect, that may not be BS.
We divorced, both remarried. Not friends by any stretch, but civil.
A Terrible Homecoming
Mt St Augustine erupted in Alaska in 1986. They had to evacuate all planes out of Elmendorf AFB due to ash in the air. This sent my unit home from Korea 3 days early. I got home at 2 AM and there was a guy sleeping next to my wife in our bed.
Life Ruiners (They Ruin Peoples' Lives)Giphy
Not me but a medical resident who I met on rotation recently. One of the nicest guy I ever met, super intelligent and hardworking, and training to be a trauma surgeon by humble as they come. He had been married for 2 years to his wife. One night he gets off a 30 hour call early and heads home to surprise his wife with some flowers and her favorite dessert (it was the anniversary of the day they first met). Only to find her in bed with a random dude.
He was so exhausted and confused, he didn't know what to do and just left and went back to the hospital. I saw him at 5AM, sitting in the parking lot, hunched over crying. He didn't even have his phone with him, he was just sitting there. Man, nothing breaks your heart more than seeing a grown man cry, it's not something you see often. We called his dad up and he came and picked him up, the guy ended up taking a leave from his residency. Turns out, it wasn't the wife's first time sleeping around. Hope he gets back on his feet, he will make an amazing physician.
Hell Probably Hurts Less
Long story short, I suspected something for a few months. Like an idiot, I opened her phone while she was asleep and found exactly what I was looking for, like you always do when searching through someone else's phone. Even with all of the texts right there to see she still lied about it multiple times. She eventually admitted to it but downplayed it heavily.
She told me about two nights ago that he asked her out on a date and she said "I had to say no" and was visibly sad about it.
In the process of getting a divorce now. Hurts like hell.
Some News I Should Like To Know
Me and my girlfriend were long distance and she had a habit of going quiet sometimes. She'd been texting me for the last few weeks but had made excuses not to come visit.
I went to a party that my friend had organized. I met a friend of his who told me he had a new girlfriend. I was surprised he hadn't mentioned her, so I asked who she was. This lady introduced me to my girlfriend. She'd told everyone that we broke up, and had been dating my friend for about a month. She didn't bother to tell me.
Dating this girl a few years back and I became really good friends with her brother just because he appreciated my help during a difficult time for their family (their father had abruptly passed away).
2 years into the relationship the brother contacts me and asks to meet up for coffee and a serious conversation.
Apparently HE caught his own sister with another guy (mutual friend of ours) and this sh*t had been going on for like a year.
As soon as he found out, I was told.
Broke up with her. Still friends with her brother. Go figure.
A Good Moral To The Story
Things had been a little shaky as I was working a lot and felt sapped when she wanted to go be social with friends so I often stayed home.
I wanted to do something nice for her for Valentines day so I sent her friend a text asking if there was something that she may have mentioned she would like to do. As I was waiting on that text I was in another room I saw her phone buzz with her friend's name. The number was below the name and since I had just sent her a text I knew they didn't match.
There are very few times my blood has been that cold and feelings of dread.
I called the number with my phone and it rang and rang before going to voicemail. Needless to say it was the other guy.
I confronted her about it and she said she was waiting to leave and had a bag packed in case I found out. She had no intentions of trying to work things out so a month later she had moved out.
I made a decision then that I could be broken up and miserable or that I could choose to be happy and be open to a relationship if it was available. I've since remarried and have two beautiful boys with my amazing wife.
Regardless of the sh*ttiness and horror in these stories there is always the opportunity to be happy. If you're reading this thread because it happened to you or just from morbid curiosity : choose to be happy. Be the person that you can be proud of and move on to better things.
A Party Divided
Not mine but my brother. He was at a small party with two friends and his wife. He got tired and wanted to head home. His wife stayed behind, she gave some lame excuse and begged off going with him. It was alright, he thought. His best buddy was there and would make sure she got home safe for him.
He got in his car. Pulled out of the driveway. Before he could get on down the block he checked his rear view and noticed the room in the house they were all in had gone dark.
He'd suspected for a time something was up with her. They had a child together. She died at the sitter. It was ruled SIDS. She had grown colder in the months after the baby died. He never really thought anything like what he was about to see was actually possible. It was more a deep seated feeling that something was up but she never let him in and they didn't work through the loss together. Seeing the lights out crystalized the situation for him, and he turned right around.
The house was dark. The front door was still unlocked. He walked right in and to the only room with any light. He opened the door to find his best friend and another "acquaintance" double teaming his soon to be ex.
He hasn't really been the same since...
I met this girl who was working the late shift at a drug store. We'd flirted a few times, eventually exchanged numbers, and started sleeping together. After a few weeks, she invited me to go drinking at this crappy little bar she liked in the north side of the city. So we spend the night dancing together, drinking, and talking to people she knows. Eventually a guy comes up to me, saying, "Great to meet you finally! Congratulations on the engagement!"
"What are you talking about?!", I replied, laughing as I choked on my drink a bit.
Guy gives me a quizzical look, and says, "You're here with Corrie. It's Paul, right!?"
I raised an eye brow and pointed a thumb to my chest, stating, "Nah man, name's Kyle." We stared at each other, watching each other realize what was playing out on this faithful night.
Corrie was engaged to a guy named Paul, I was the other guy. Paul worked out of town for weeks at a time.
It was actually interesting, how you literally could see the word travel around the small bar, drastically changing the vibe in the room. We left shortly after.
She brought me, the guy she was cheating on her fiance with, to her favourite bar. She brought me to a place full of friends that at least knew her well enough to know she was engaged to a guy named Paul, not Kyle.
Messed up stuff. Didn't see her again after that.
According to Facebook, Paul and Corrie are currently married.
Okay so my ex was having computer problems and wanted to go on Facebook on my phone. No problem but I made her use safari so I wouldn't have to log out of the app. Anyways couple days later I'm closing tabs on my phone and there is her Facebook still open. Well I see she's chatting with her ex John. Turns out they banged in our bed and were gunna go out on a date soon.
So in the messages he asked she "wear something nice". I'm not the jealous type so I leave it for a couple days. Couple days go by and she wants to have sex... well we are kissing and getting hot and heavy. I whisper in her ear "don't forget John wants you to wear something nice on your date Saturday"
The look of horror in her eyes was magical.
I put my shirt on and start walking out as she's crying and saying she's sorry.
Didn't happen to me, but my closest friend growing up. He was making out with his girlfriend in the back of her car (which at the time she had only had for a week) and he put his hand on the back of the car somewhere between the back of the head rests and the rear windshield. I guess the opposite of a dash board? Anyways he put his hand in a semi-fresh load of jizz. And her answer was that her gum must have flew from her mouth and land back there and the sun melted it into a jizz like substance!
Was on a very rare date night, kids at the grandparents house. I'm looking extra cute so didn't even want to carry a purse or my cell. Used his phone on the way to the restaurant to confirm our reservations. After eating, used his phone again to get the movie times via text. Saw a name in the frequently sent, asked him innocently "Who is Lisa?" He snatched the phone and said "my coworker." FF 3 hours later and I'm throwing his clothes into his car after going online and viewing the hundreds of text sent to several women.
But still, I was a fool for love and opted to stay. I was with him my entire adult life so I didn't know anything different. That was 2006. We had our 19th anniversary in January. My divorce was final in March. He got married to ANOTHER one of his many affairs in June. I'm enjoying being unattached and becoming an empty nester as of this fall.
A Happy Ending
Throwaway account, only because I find this story a bit too weird--even for me.
One time my husband thought he had caught me cheating on him.
I'm a full time artist and do pretty well for myself. Most of my paintings are on the weird and surreal side, so when I'm experiencing a creative block I do some pretty weird s***. My husband and I are childhood sweethearts so he's seen it all.
I was nearing the end of my deadline for a gallery series and I was STRESSED. My husband was nervous leaving me alone for a week, but he had a business conference that he couldn't miss. Around day 2 I ran to the supermarket to buy a pack of condoms and cheap barbies. I scalped and maimed the barbies and stuffed as much of it in the condom as possible The result was interesting (I'll probably paint it someday in the future) and somehow motivated me enough to finish the remaining paintings in the series. I throw the few condoms I'd used away and boxed the remaining with my art supplies. Didn't bother to think any further on it.
*Cut to 5 days later*
Husband comes home: I'm making dinner while he showers. He turns the water on, promptly turns it off, comes downstairs looking white as a ghost and walks out of the house without a word. I'm freaked out and go after him, but he's already gone with the car. I'm blowing up his phone but he won't answer me.
Trying not to freak out too much. I decide that maybe I'm overreacting, and just let it go for a few hours.
Still no response.
I reach out to some family and they haven't heard from him either.
I spend a sleepless night debating what to do next.
Early morning my husband comes home looking like shit and reeking of alcohol. He goes off at me. Screaming and cursing. I've never seen him like this. I'm trying to calm him down to figure out wtf is happening, but he won't let me talk. He's going on until he finally uses the word "cheating". Aaaaand it clicks.
He found the condoms.
I use the typical, "it's not what it looks like" response so he decides to calm down and humor me.
Go to my studio and pull out the sketches I'd done of the barbies in the condoms to show to him. He's giving me a strong *WTF is wrong with you* look, but is calming down. Still not really believing me. So I ask him if the condoms even had fluid in them. Calming down even more. I grab the poor maimed barbies, and he breaks out in laughter before he begins to tear up.
I love this man to pieces and it broke my heart that he had been so torn up thinking I'd slept with another man. This whole thing happened 2 years ago. Now we just laugh at the whole thing. It took a little while for him to get back to normal. I'm sure he still thought something might be up, but he eventually just settled with the fact that he married someone who's weird AF. We're still going strong.