When I was ten I decided I was a dancing valkyrie. I would shimmy all over my mother's house with abandon, sometimes in her high heels. Ten year olds in high heels, breaking it down to Madonna can lead to some disaster. One cloudy day, I was lost in "Like a Prayer." My mother had this little rectangular sized stereo (vey hip at the time) and the music blasted through it. Without thinking I jumped on her bed, heels first, in a dark room. I decided to do a back flip as Madonna sent the song's crescendo to God.
You'd be stunned how sharp the edge of a little stereo can be. I landed directly on a corner, splitting the flesh above my lip. Some blood. Some tears. Five stitches and now a life long reminder. Lesson... don't do flips on a bed in heels.
Redditor u/Zander-dupont was wondering how everyone has blemished their bodies now and again by asking... What is the stupidest way you got a scar?It will always be the small things that get you. The more simplicity involved, the higher the level of danger. If only we knew that tying a necktie or gardening in the yard could lead to catastrophe. Although if we're more aware of the world around us, we'd never leave the house. But we should stay vigilant. The following people probably wish they had.
Tied Up
grocery store falling GIFGiphyI couldn't tie my laces as a kid and liked to walk with my hands in my pockets.
This led to me tripping over my laces, no hands to protect and landing face first onto a stone step, the corner of which went right between my eyes, leaving a small scar where my monobrow grows.
Soaked
I was holding a super soaker reservoir bottle underwater at a lake to fill it up. It slipped out of my hand and shot up out of the water, hit me in my lip and split it open all the way through to the other side. Needed stitches inside my mouth and right below my bottom lip. Got a small scar from it.
Bad Veggie
Kid in the church nursery hit me in the eye with a plastic carrot. It was 40 years ago. I've still got a scar.
Damn Corn
I was in a cornfield and grabbed a cob of corn to throw at a friend. The leaf from the corn stalk went between my middle and index fingers as I released the throw and sliced the webbing open deep enough that I could see my tendons. That was 25 years ago and I still have the scar.
I can't do blood; not mine, not yours. If a massive injury befalls you and I'm around... I hope it's a good death. I'll be passed out bleeding from the head, due to my fainting on the floor next to you. The next bunch of people have witnessed or survived a few instances that require a trigger warning. And I hate the word gnarly. It holds too many memories... you'll see.
Stitches Required...
My father fell off his motorbike and went through a bush that contained a barb wire fence. Tore his mouth up pretty bad.
But that's not the story I'm telling. No.
My auntie had knee surgery when I was a toddler and as she was just about able to walk she came over to visit. Toddler me, being a little fool, decided to go over to her with my plastic mallet and bopped her on her knee. My father laughed so hard that his stitches opened. :/.
to be sure...
angry knife GIF by MunchiesGiphySomeone said "that knife is for cutting tape, so it won't cut people" and I checked.
face first...
The headrest of our bed was made of solid wood and had curved edges. It was wide enough for a 2 year old (me) to sit on and I used to love sliding off it. Well one night I sat on it to slide as usual with my legs on either side. My leg on the bed got stuck between the pillows and I fell face first on the floor. Got a cut on my forehead which required 6-7 stitches.
Gnarly Elbows
10 year old me shredded too hard on a razor scooter. I hit a bump going down the steepest hill in my hometown and gave the concrete a pretty good People's Elbow.....still have a 3 inch scar that wraps around my elbow and looks pretty gnarly for a razor scooter accident.
Sometimes we're just lacking in common sense. I have a broken tooth (now mended cosmetically) from the time I decided to swing around a pole like a lasso wrangled by a cowboy, with my eyes closed. I loved the feel of the air refreshing my face. However I wasn't paying attention to the ground beneath me, so when I tripped on my last spin, I smashed my face into said pole. And the rest is horror history. The next few dolts can relate.
Circles
Got a string tied around my ankle to see if it was strong enough to hold me back when I ran.
It was not.
The scar circles my ankle and hasn't changed in 20 years.
Brought him to my mom's place on the coast, and while I brought my own normal-sized leash, my mom had one of those extend-o leashes with a tiny round cord, which I thought might be nice for him to run on the beach.
On the trail back from the beach, we came across someone walking another dog. My dog gets really excited about other dogs, especially now that we're all isolated and crap. In his frenzy he wrapped the leash around my shorts-clad legs and then yanked it tight. The stupid skinny leash worked like a garotte and sliced the mess out of my calf.
A Handout
GiphyI stuck a hand between the gears of my grandmother's sewing machine while it was running.
Ouch!
Scars, like tattoos can be very sexy. However, you don't want too many. So be careful out there. Look both ways at crosswalks, be methodical in action. Literally tripping over a soda can can kill you... true story.
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Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram