People Divulge The Most Important Life Lessons They've Ever Learned

​Everyone is not your friend...

“Not everyone at work is and wants to be your friend, some just pretend and then screw you over. Learned that doing my apprenticeship and found the same sh*t in almost every other company I worked for so far." ZockStartion

“You don't like everyone...”

​“‘You don't like everybody, so don't worry about everybody liking you’. Of course, be respectful to everyone you meet. But don't bend over backwards to please all of them.” QueenFlowers91

A lesson hard learned...​

“You can delegate authority, you can't delegate responsibility. Been a mantra my mom has spoken since I was a kid." oniwolf382

“I learned this one as a young man. I was a maintenance supervisor at a resort and every week we had to shut down a floor of each building in the wintertime to do repairs and refurbishment on all the condo units. One employee complained that he got stuck with painting all the time so I told him if he was comfortable replacing the hot water heaters that week, he could do that job."

"So I was focused on all the logistics and normal operations and let him do his thing. The day before everything was to be inspected and put back into service I discovered that the employee had four more water heaters to replace and he had not put all the previous unit's cabinetry back together (the heaters were hidden under the countertop in the kitchen)."

"We had to pay thousands of dollars to a plumbing company to come in and finish the job because there was no way to get it all done in time. My boss in the home office was furious and asked how this happened when we were doing all the other floors on time. I tried to explain that the employee f**ked up and didn't tell anyone in time."

"But my boss explained to me that it's my job to make sure they did their job and not make excuses. I was pissed but after I cooled off, I realized he was right. You can assign tasks and projects to others but ultimately you have to be responsible for the overall outcome." BaconReceptacle

Your attitude counts for a lot...

“If you're right but you're obnoxious about it, people won't see you as the good guy. Took me until the end of grad school to figure that one out.” rocketparrotlet

They're trying to be polite offering...

​“Never refuse when someone offers you a breath mint - my grandfather after I declined a breath mint from him.” Reaper

​“It'll eventually drive you apart...”

​“You don't ever truly know another person. Unless you can take up residence in their head, you'll never be privy to their true nature. Learned this through the process of growing up and losing friends/SOs.”

“It's not always malicious, sometimes you latch onto the idea of a person rather than who they are. It'll eventually drive you apart as you realize that there is incongruity between who they are and who you think they are.” Titronnica

​Good advice...

​“My dad taught me as a teenager that relationships should be easy. Biggest and best lesson I've ever learned. Relationships should not be filled with drama but with friendship and respect. Really helped me choose who to be with. Now I teach my daughters the same thing so maybe they can prevent being in a painful relationship.” Dianne_Disco_3

“unapologetically do what makes you happy...”

​“As you reach adulthood , ie paying for a majority of things on your own and you make a majority of the decisions in your life. Believe in the decisions you make and unapologetically do what makes you happy regardless of what your parents think. They don't live your life and you will develop resentment if you don't do what truly makes you happy. I was 26 when I realized!” Cheslee3

She was wise...

“When I was in high school, my mom and I took a day to go church shopping in a new part of town. We must've gone to 5 services that day. Some were fun and lively, some were quiet and reserved. But one in particular really stuck out to me for being so… kooky."

“It was October, and the preacher was starting his sermon to the room of 40 people with 'Halloween is right around the corner. Who here celebrates Halloween?' I was the only person to raise my hand. The preacher goes 'Good! Because Halloween is celebrating the Devil, and we don't do that here.' At this point, I quickly drop my hand as people give me weird looks."

“My mom then goes 'by the way, it's not a good idea to volunteer information to a group of people you don't know.' I learned that I need to wait until I understand at least the basic dynamics of a group before sharing anything about myself. In these cases especially, it's better to be quiet and anonymous than to stand out and be a target. We never ended up going back to any of the churches we saw that day, though." psburrito

You can't trust people...

“Don't become a walking charity. When I was in my early-to-mid-20s, I had a lot of 'friends' who were falling on hard times or needed various types of help. And I was only too happy to help - I had the money, I had the time, I would do anything for them."

“Not one of them repaid - financially, or otherwise. Instead, I was just taken advantage of, left, right and center. It all ended when I suggested a friend of mine who broke up with their partner and had no place to live come stay with me. Next thing I knew, they were inviting their friends over all the time, often without my permission."

"They weren't contributing a penny to the income of the household. Their new partner soon moved in, and my house basically became a doss house. And they became a mean-spirited, emotionally abusive a**hole who made my life miserable in my own home."

"Now, I offer advice only. If you need financial support, you can go to the council. If you need housing, you can go to the council. If you want me to provide either of those things, you can bugger off." RedWestern

Focus And Control

"Focus on what you can control rather than what you cannot."

"I found that there were many times as I grew up when I put far too much energy into being upset about other people's decisions or how they treated me rather than leaving the situations/taking action for the things that I could change."

"When I truly learned this, I also learned how to set boundaries for and take better care of myself :)"

- sarebakerbare

Sadists

"Some people actually enjoy putting others through pain."

"I always thought that maybe they didn’t realize... but some people do. Some people brag about hurting others and doing immoral things. The people they hurt can include people they’ve known for years or claim to love the most."

"You can’t get in anyone else’s head... so it’s best to leave if they have a pattern of hurting others. They may not deserve your empathy."

- throwaway_627292737

Elephant Riders

"For most people, their emotions are like an elephant, and their ability to think is like a person riding on the elephant."

"An experienced rider can steer the giant beast to do his bidding, but most people never invest the time to learn and don't have control of their elephant."

"They live out their lives on autopilot, always going wherever the elephant takes them."

"Learning this explained a lot about people, from irrational political beliefs, to why some get into stupid arguments, etc."

- bobas_mk

The Ultimatum

"At 18/19 or so, I was forced to choose between my cheating girlfriend and someone I liked as a friend."

"My then-girlfriend was thinking I would cheat (read: revenge) on her. It wasn’t as simple as I put it here at the time, obviously."

"I actually chose the cheater."

"I’ve been too embarrassed to tell the other girl why I disappeared and haven’t had the chance to properly talk to her ever again."

"I’ll never make the wrong decision again and I regret it ever since (it’s many years later now)."

- Baarluh

Education

"No one will give you the education you need to overthrow them."

"I've found this to be very true, particularly in the workplace setting. Bosses who are scared you are coming for their job will keep you in the dark or give only the bare minimum training."

"It is ultimately on YOU to learn the skills you will need to thrive."

- 0str301d34

If People Don't Like You

"Dear people with social anxiety:"

"You vastly overestimate people’s willingness to be around people they don’t like. If somebody doesn’t like you, they will either constantly make excuses to leave or make it obvious that they want to."

"Don’t play the 'do they like me or are they just pretending' game, because you’ll just go in circles and stress yourself out."

"Learned this pretty recently, tbh."

- Nate2247

Happy Is In Your Hands

"Happiness is truly in your own hands."

"Don't expect a partner to make you happy. You have to do things that make YOU proud of YOU."

"Forgive those who have wronged you. Forgive your past self. Search your heart for the things that bring you joy and do those things."

"I was about 34 when I learned this. If I would've came to this realization in my early 20's, I would've saved myself so much emptiness and heartache."

- DeliciousFactor3785

If It Aint Broke

"It used to be 'If you see something not quite working right, fix it.' "

"But then after a few more years I've learned 'If you see something not quite working right, but it isn't critical, and you messing with it is only going to make it worse, leave it the f*ck alone.' "

- rahendric