an Oh Myyy Property

"Speak now or forever hold your peace!" Does anyone even really do that? A stunt like that takes a ton of guts and definitely a touch of crazy. That's a bit we've only ever really seen in the movies or on a daytime drama, or when Jackson and April ran off on 'Grey's Anatomy!' So basically it's a dramatic, fictional moment... or so we all thought!


Redditor AdamLea asked People who didn't forever hold their peace in a wedding, why? Honey, you will be stunned by the actions of some wedding attendees. And all before the open bar!

Bless me Padre...

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I am a Priest, here's a mildly interesting tidbit about this.

In a church context this question is a holdover from the days when the civil authorities had little to do with weddings and it was simply administered solely by the church, therefore it was the churches responsibility to ensure that nothing was amiss: most notably, issues of adultery or of consanguinity (being too closely related by blood).

Now that couples must receive their marriage license from the state before being married in the church, this question is essentially moot as the state has already determined that barring some sort of identity theft, there are no impediments to their being married. We still ask because there may be reasons, such as adultery, that require investigation.

If someone does object during a church service it is protocol to take them and the couple into the vestry and determine what the source of the objection is. If it was a joke, they are a jerk for interrupting and we carry on. If it is real, like a groomsman sleeping with the bride the night before her wedding, then stuff hits the fan.

Auto_Fac

REDDIT

Nobody likes you either Sir!

My husband and I got married in a public park, near a bay that we grew up fishing in.

Mid-ceremony, a little fishing boat motors on by, with two guys in it. The are probably about 80 yards away, holding beers. One says "Look, it's a wedding." About a minute later, the other yells, "SHE DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!" My mother-in-law yelled back, "DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOU AT MY SON'S WEDDING."

Forever immortalized in my wedding video. That's what I get for having a wedding in a public area.

lilsugarpackets

Whoops! Forgot about her!

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My dad is a minister. He once had a lady stand up in the church and say that the marriage couldn't go forward because she was still married to the groom.

Wedding canceled.

CBD_Sasquatch

Your vote doesn't count!

My husband and I had a Justice of the Peace wedding, then did the actual ceremony with a priest later. The priest was super cool and had come through at the last second when our original officiant backed out. When he got to the part about objecting, he said "And if anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed... you're too late."

jyuro

Never invite Jack Sparrow to your nuptials...

When my neighbors got married, they had a semi- pirate themed wedding on a tall ship anchored in the harbour. They had met in fencing class and are also some of the most eccentric people I've ever met. When the officiant asked the question, one of their fencing buddies stood up and yelled that the bride deserved better, and the groom was nothing but a swashbuckling good-for-nothing. So the groom challenged him to a duel, they fenced their way up the aisle and the groom threw him over the edge of the boat.

They've been just as entertaining to live next door to ever since.

MiyaxKapugen

Warden?! I object!

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My mom wanted to stop the marriage of her half-brother and her step-sister, but the wedding was in prison so she wasn't able to attend.

smilbandit

Bro.. Not cool!

Priest: "...that these 2 should not be wed?"

GF of best man: "THAT AIN'T YER KID IN THERE!!"

Best man was sexing his fiancee since the groom's 2 month trip to China. He thought he was great at hiding it from his GF. He was not. Think 3 relationships ended there and a few more friendships.

Now if it was 20 grand....

Not my wedding, nor my peace that didn't get held.

My best friend, the morning before his wedding, his crazy uncle (you know, that one black sheep uncle that everybody seems to have), shows up at his door. "You don't have to do this. We're 2 hours drive from Mexico, here's the keys to my car, the tank is full, and here's 10 grand in cash." My buddy laughs and closes the door on him.

Later, during this very fancy, very prim and proper Catholic wedding, it comes to the 'anybody here' part. Immediately that uncle stands up in the pew, in the back, starts rattling his car keys as loud as he can, and yells "TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN, BOY!"

ShabaDabaDo

I love Al Roker!

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My wife's grandmother was a sweet woman who was battling dementia and Alzheimer's. When it came to that part of the ceremony, she blurted out "Women aren't allowed to marry people!" (Our officiant was a female minister). After a short pause and some shushing from the family she then exclaimed "BUT HE LOOKS LIKE AL ROKER!" I'm a pasty Irish boy, for what it's worth.

LookatitOmar

The priest almost sounded like he was objecting during my sister-in-law's wedding. When he got to the "If anyone wants to oppose..." part he started talking about how normally the bride and groom would have come to a meeting with him prior to the ceremony, where he would ensure that there were no reservations etc., but this couple was too busy... so it was the first time he was unsure if they were going to last... He went on for several minutes about it, during the middle of the ceremony.

It turned out that he had an undiagnosed brain tumor and passed away only a few weeks later, and had started to become mentally unstable right after the wedding.

Tree_Eyed_Crow

Thanks Papa Scrooge...

I really wanted to...bride/groom had decided to split a week before the wedding, but bride's dad said he wouldn't pay for all the related expenses (and had already paid all deposits) unless they went ahead with the wedding, so they went ahead with the sham. Not everyone present knew and the couple acted their way through a grotesque display. They lived together just long enough to finalize all the split-up details then divorced.

Truly a nightmare day for those of us who knew the couple well.

challam

False Alarm Y'all! Continue...

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My Aunt had her wedding at my Grandmother's house. It was a nice Saturday afternoon, 1pm wedding.

"If anyone has reason..."

(A very loud car in the distance does a short burnout)

After a pause, the Pastor continues "If anyone has reason that these two shouldn't be..."

(Same car in the distance loudly pulls a full quarter mile run, 10 seconds or less pass before it is quiet again).

There was a nearby dragstrip and they were not supposed to start until 2pm, both the 1pm wedding started late and the 2pm drag racing started early. The entire ceremony had 10 second or less interruptions.

SuspiciousMystic

Exit stage left...

Was at a Hindu wedding. It's a 3 hour ceremony that happens on a stage and there were 500 guests. At some point a group of young guys walk to the front of the hall. The bride walks off the stage and leaves through the side of the hall with the the group of guys. Anyway the priest carried on chanting and with the ceremony. The guests assume everything is going on as per normal for the next 15 minutes. After that there were some sudden side conversations between parents, priest groom etc. Turns out that the bride to be left with her boyfriend. The marriage to the groom was arranged and the boyfriend was someone that the father did not like. Last I heard was that the boyfriend and the bride were still together.

darthtoe

Don't mess with a Prophecy!

We had this line taken out of our wedding because we knew my MIL would object if given the opportunity. She showed up with a friend we had NOT invited (who wore all black) & sat in the front row bawling the whole time. She had written me a 6 page letter the week before the wedding literally calling me the Antichrist & was/is convinced she's a prophetess of God & that my husband & I were not supposed to get married because she had "prophesied" he was supposed to marry someone else so he could become the next Billy Graham. 12 years later, marriage is still going strong... but we don't have contact w/MIL. Big surprise.

HepburnInConverses

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My favorite was a wedding I went to for a friend where when they asked this question the father of the bride unloaded a fart that echoed off the church bench so loud that everyone stopped and just looked at him.

The bride started laughing so hard that her face turned bright red and she had to sit down. 10 minutes of her laughing so hard she didn't make a sound while the rest of the church laughed. Finally the dad stands up and says "Look I had a bagel this morning, it didn't sit well". The mother of the bride hit him but laughed and everyone laughed again. Was probably the best wedding I have ever seen.

Gromby

Maybe y'all should look into Polyamory...

Sort of multi-layered. It started at the bachelorette party and carried over into the wedding.

So, I was not part of this wedding, but was present, and part of the bachelorette party was kind of an open house, anyone show up sort of deal with some "party royalty." Basically the bridal party went to a bar and all the friends could swing by and say hi. So I do that and get beer and congrats and whatever.

Go to the ladies room and the bride is in there with her arms crossed and someone is crying in a stall. Turns out, one of the bridesmaids got drunk and basically said, "I'm so glad you and Fiance could forgive each other after he cheated, you're so good together." But the bride didn't know about the cheating.

So the bride decides to lay into the bridesmaid and talk about bridesmaid's husband, how he's a sleezebag who cheated at some point too. So bridesmaid is crying in a stall and bride is pissed. I make a quick exit. The wedding still happens that weekend.

I'm milling around with the guests in pre-wedding mode, my spidey senses are on high alert cause of the drama I heard at the party. And sure enough, the bridesmaid's husband is like, trying to force himself into the getting ready area with the bride to yell at her for judging, cause apparently HE has more dirt on her.

So the groom cheated, the bridesmaid's husband cheated, and apparently the bride at some point cheated or at least was way too friendly with an ex. I didn't hear all the details on the last one. No one was holding peace that day.

fuqmook

We hear you Jesus!

At my uncles wedding the priest asked the question and there was a massive crack of thunder.

Fission_chip

Stay away from the cocktail franks...

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A few years after I graduated from college, a distant friend from high-school asked if I would stand up in her wedding because one of members of the wedding party had backed out. I said sure, happy to do so because I would be at the wedding anyway. I show up at the wedding as the replacement member of the wedding party and assume my place at the front of the church during the ceremony. At the point in the ceremony where the minister asks people 'speak now or forever hold your peace' this person who I replaced in the wedding party shows up at the chapel , points to the happy couple and says "I got crabs from them." Seems the happy couple had a 3 way with this person sometime before the wedding which is why I had to replace that person in the wedding party. Further seems that the reason that this person got crabs is that this couple had LOTS of 3 ways and extra relationship sex before getting married. This was later confirmed by other members of the wedding party.

NO JOKE: the appetizer at the wedding reception was crab cakes. You can't make this stuff up folks!

At my cousin's wedding, it was a full on, 2 hour long Catholic affair with hymns, blessings, verse readings, etc. Anyway the priest asks the question and my cousin's brother stood up, adjusted his shirt, stared at my cousin getting married for what felt like forever, grinned then slowly sat down.

My cousin getting married went completely insane, ran down from the altar and socked him right in the nose, screaming "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING!??"

And that's how I was a part of a MASS brawl lol

crochetprozac

NOW a warning?!

Heard from my Dad, a former C of E priest:

Dad: 'Anyone who knows a reason why these two should not be married should speak now or forever hold their peace'

Bride: 'Yeah I do. He was in bed with my bridesmaid last night' slaps groom, walks back down aisle.

Dad:'......well I think obviously we can't continue. Thank you all for coming'

JackB159

Be smart. Have a counter-plan!

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I conducted my friends' wedding - we wrote in the line "if there is any person here present who knows of any legal impediment to these two people being joined in matrimony, then frankly you should have said something before now, you've had the invitation for months."

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

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Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

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Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

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I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

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My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

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My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

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I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

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