oh-myyy-ribbon

Remember "take your kid to work day?" This is explain your work to kids day. Try to not scare them too much.

husk39939 asked Redditors to channel their inner genius: Einstein said "If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself." How would you explain your job?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Living the dream. Any guesses?

Giphy

I don't actually do anything, I just keep a track of when other people are doing things.

fantalemon

Ahh management.

RusskiRoman

Or payroll.

ThatOneKid1995

Definitely payroll.

JoseSweet

What six-year-old wouldn't want this job?

I dip donuts in frosting and sprinkles, then put them on trays so you can pick them yourself! Pretty easy one, imo.

sn0wgh0ul13

Assembly line worker.

nichonova

Pretty much. We call ourselves pack off. We're the ones you talk to when you walk up to a in-store Bakery :)

sn0wgh0ul13

Some kids need to know that it does get better.

Giphy

I answer the phone and help kids who have been hurt by their parents.

ladyofmtg

Thank you.

questionthis

Legos make everything understandable.

I make the Lego instruction booklets, but for boats.

tracerbullet__pi

Legos is the only way to explain engineering

johnnysauce78

For kids in Oregon and New Jersey, this could be relevant.

I pump gas into cars and sweep up garbage. I almost wrote weep, but then realized it is in fact an essential part of it too.

Edit: damn guys! Well I'm currently working as I write lol I'll get back to all y'all after. For anyone asking I work in Canada, and it's one of the last "full service" sites in n.s., everybody else pumps their own gas.

gladwinorino

As grown-ups, we can go to jail for breaking promises.

Giphy

I write down the promises two companies make to each other, make sure they understand them, and provide them both with a copy of the papers they signed.

PMmecrossstich

Pinky swearer.

cankin

This is the correct answer.

PMmecrossstich

Most kids run and hide.

clean your teeth because you won't.

Throwawayabc1010

Dentist or Dental Hygenist.

thisisnotacat

Or a really weird janitor.

GillbergsAdvocate

Or a really weird bartender currently.

Sydosys

What a suspicious use of "currently."

MuchAmaze

Try teaching a kid to say 'phlebotomist.' 

I take people's blood in the hospital to try and help the doctors figure out what is wrong with them and how to make them feel better.

boing345brooke

Phlembotomist.

Threedog667

Essentially yes! I also do data entry and prep samples for testing.

boing345brooke

Mmmmm. Bread. Though the ingredients seem a bit off...

Giphy

I bake bread. One of the perks of my job is that it's easy to explain.

SugarFlourButterEgg

No salt. Bread needs salt, otherwise it's cake. And yeast.

E: CAKE CAN HAVE SALT?! WHO KNEW!? NOBODY KNEW! CAKE IS GREAT. I LIKE CAKE. CAKE LIKES ME. CAKE KNOWS I'M A GREAT GUY.

Jestar342

That's why he goes to Reddit, to get the salt.

thanos_spared_me

Hard to imagine any six-year-old today needing IT help in the future.

I try not to lose my temper all day whilst fixing the same problems that the same people have with their computers.

IBYCWOWTM

I don't lose my temper but people can irritate me. Strangely that's reduced in recent years and people seem happy to just let me fix what's broken.

I just tell people I'm a glorified repairman even if I do get involved in planning, setting up servers etc.

battraman

I don't understand my job either. What could this be?

I accept the fact that I don't understand my job.

agreeingstorm9

Programmer?

PhilGerb93

Software developer!

Magicalunicorny

Sounds fun.

Giphy

I draw connect-the-dot mazes for electricity, then test them to see if they work in real life.

ICantSeeMyChin

I draw connect-the-dot mazes for electricity,

Electrical engineer?

then test them to see if they work in real life.

Oh nevermind.

Beltox2point0

Perfect.

When a car gets a booboo I make it better.

hatsnatcher23

Auto Body Tech?

thisisnotacat

Computers will be people one day.

I write very specific instructions for others in their own language. Those other guys are computers.

TIL_TED

...is there a guy inside my computer too?

2HornsUp

Yes. Make sure he has plenty of water to drink.

keyboardsoldier

We have a winner.

Giphy

I give sick kitties lots of love and give them medicine to make them feel better!

JiyaRose

Cat pimp / catnip dealer.

Secret4gentMan

Jinxy Productions via Getty images@PassionPopSoc/Twitter

Halloween may be over, but the spooky season is all year.

And since night vision is not perfect, anything seen over a night vision monitor is likely to spook the heck out of anybody.

Keep reading... Show less
The Telegraph/YouTube

The wizarding world is now a reality.

Sort of.

A Canadian company has created a real life invisibility cloak, and it's mind-blowing to see in action.

The company, HyperStealth Biotechnology Corp., calls its creation "Quantum Stealth."

See it in action here:

'Invisibility cloak' that could hide tanks and troops looks closer to reality www.youtube.com

Describing themselves on their website as "Leaders in Camouflage, Concealment, and Deception", HyperStealth has patents pending on their magical invention.

The "invisibility shield" is made of an inexpensive, paper thin material that bends light to make objects appear to be invisible. The company boasts that it would be able to hide people, vehicles, and even buildings.

Humans hidden by Quantum Stealth would also be undetectable to heat-sensing cameras.

Meet the Canadian who created a real-life invisibility shield youtu.be

Guy Cramer, the CEO of HyperStealth and the shield's inventor explained to CTV News:

"This is the same material that you see in 3D books and DVD covers and movie posters where by moving side to side you get a 3D image. We're using the same material and we've removed the picture from behind it to get that effect."

The material was never meant to for public use, but Cramer hopes that his invention will be helpful to Canada's military allies, including the United States.

Since releasing video demonstrations of the "invisibility cloak", military personnel have become interested in learning more about it.

Reception to the prototype, initially demonstrated to militaries in 2011, was lukewarm. But HyperStealth's recent promotional materials have since caught the attention of higher ups.

Cramer has expressed surprise about the public's interest in "Quantum Stealth" on Twitter.

Cramer admitted to CTV that he has reservations about how the material can be used:

"The intention was to keep it out of the public and to allow the military to use it sparingly or bury it. My concern is the criminal element using this at some point in the future and non-allied countries using it against our soldiers out there."

Fans of the Harry Potter series are comparing "Quantum Stealth" to Harry's Invisibility Cloak.





Featured in both the book and movies, Harry's Invisibility Cloak is a made from a magical fabric that he and his friends wear to appear invisible, usually to hide from Hogwarts' staff.

Giphy

Twitter is in awe of the invention's unbelievable capabilities.





Though some people share Cramer's worries about it falling into the wrong hands and its use in warfare.





Despite the public's excitement and concerns, Cramer doubts that it will ever be available for civilian use.

When addressing "Quantum Stealth's availability to the general public, he wrote on the HyperStealth website:

"Not in the near future unless the Military decided to release the technology and I don't anticipate that will happen anytime soon."

If you're not up on your Potterdom lore (or just need a new set after reading your first ones to tatters) the Harry Potter Books 1-7 Special Edition Boxed Set is available here.

A woman named Anna took ownership of her baby's name and passive-aggressively joked for her coworkers not to steal it.

But when one of her colleagues joked about stealing the very common name, it backfired.

Keep reading... Show less

Disciplining children in a way that will make them reflect on their behavior without taking it too far is definitely a difficult line to walk. Some parents have apparently had to get rather creative to get the point across.

Keep reading... Show less

It's next to impossible to get through life without regrets. Whether it was a missed opportunity to ask someone out or missing a chance to say goodbye to a loved one before they walked on, missed opportunities are part of life.

We sometimes regret decisions and life choices too, but the missed opportunities always seem to hit the hardest when we look back on them.

Keep reading... Show less
CBS

Accusations of sexual harassment are serious things, and not tools for manipulating a game, but two Survivor contestants ignored that to make the game go their way.

Elizabeth Beisel and Missy Byrd voiced concerns over touching by another contestant, Dan Spilo, which now appear to have been either greatly exaggerated or completely made up to manipulate other players.

Keep reading... Show less