Best friends for life! That's the motto. Friends before lovers because lovers come and go. The list of friendship mantras is endless. So you would think that means everyone sees their relationships with the people they call their closest, not blood related, chosen family will be endless. No expirations date. Sadly this is not always the case. Sometimes people do just come and go in your life, actually the older you get you realize most people come and go and ninety percent of the time, the going is the best thing that happens. It's not the happiest fact but it is often the sanest. Life is long, you can have many besties.
Redditor u/HairyFaithlessness was interested in hearing some the best reasons behind... Why don't you talk to your once "best friend" anymore? Pay attention for yourself in these. Red flags are afoot.
Does it say PHD next to my name?Giphy
She was never there for me, yet she expected me to be her 24/7 therapist. kenna98
Same. Mine ghosted when I got divorced years ago because "she and her husband didn't agree with divorce." Then she got divorced this year and guess who got the constant calls, texts, etc. Lilredh4iredgrl
Are you me? Same exact thing happened with my former BFF. I had major stress going on in my life but she didn't have time, but whenever her (relatively minor) crisis came along I had to drop everything and listen to her b***h and moan. Jobs, men, her family, friends, school, you name it, she had an issue and was always the victim. Nancy_Wheeler
Sorry but that's no friend...
I tried to call my once best friend and admit that I was in an abusive relationship, had just left and that the partner completely cut off all my communications with any friends. I apologized profusely for being such a terrible friend and only talking to her very occasionally for a year.
Her response was that she didn't care about my drama and I should have stayed. After ten years of friendship.
Another girl who I was friends with for the same amount of time I consider my best friend, the three of us were all very close at one point, completely understood and was there for me when this happened. Ironically enough, the other friend pretty much did the same thing to her. Im_A_Girl_Damn_It
Mine would dump all her problems (that she created) on me, feel better, and then run off and do the same stupid stuff again. If I tried to give myself space, she would stalk me. When I finally ended it, she smeared dog poop on my mother-in-law's car handles. Made up rumors about me. And then begs to be friends again. I shut that down. Some days I miss her but I don't regret it. Be glad it's over and now you know what signs to look for in other would be friends. yellowmew
You never know all people...
Mnph. After my dad died, mom was leaning on friends to help. Our best family friends (the parents, rather) were suddenly never available, and some ACQUAINTANCES were suddenly the most caring people alive. I remember spending an insane amount of time with them, and it took awhile for me to realize from some bits and pieces my mom had slipped that it was because she needed help, and they gave it gladly
You never know who your best friends truly are until you need help. teslorenoob
That's just messed up!
He set me up to get robbed. ChildSmuggler
It's crazy what some people will do for a bit of cash. Especially when they don't have any. Or maybe his friend was being threatened or something. jcgurango
People don't realize how the situation changes when they can see and feel the money as opposed to someone saying they will give them the money.
Most people have ridiculously high bars for doing immoral things for money, but showing them a 1/10th of their asking price will more likely then not make them do those things simply because they never realized the situation before.ATL_LAX
You've been blocked!!Giphy
She was the best friend I ever had, we were constantly talking about how much of a soulmate I were to her, how close we were, how identical we were. We were in different classes so we got to see each other rather seldom, but we chatted everyday till late night.
Then at once she stopped talking to me and shortly after blocked me on all social media. Nothing had happened. Now she can't even look me in the eyes. I am unable to answer why. R0ssen
Just online buddies now....
We went to different colleges and neither of us are super good at remembering to use social media/messaging to keep up with people.
We still like each others' rare Facebook posts and Instagram posts, but since neither of us is much for initiating conversation, I feel this is how our friendship will be until either Facebook or one of us dies. Reddit
If I may, I suggest that you take the initiative to make the relationship what you want it to be. If you want to contact this person occasionally, do it. If the other person doesn't reciprocate, fine. But at least you'll have given it a shot.
I'm sure your friend would appreciate a simple message to show you care even if that's all that comes out of it.Acquiescinit
She sounds shady!
Didn't invite me to his wedding on his now wife's behest. Was his first ever, longest and most trusted friend to that point. AvianAzure
This happened to some people I know and the friend who wasn't invited straight up asked the groom if they really wanted to spend forever with a person who got jealous of their fiancèe being friends with other girls like that. The answer was no and the wedding was called off. (obviously after he thought about it awhile and considered things, but that was the question that made him start thinking). doyouwannabshowtime
It is what it is!Giphy
They're off doing their thing, I'm doing mine. We're in different countries and timezones too. mendokusai_yo
Same. Just petered out at the end of high school then I moved away for college. jcrow06
I just moved to a new country with a 6 hour time difference. Hope I don't lose my best friends back home. Have to say gaming keeps us together. 789_ba_dum_tss
Time Marches On....
He got married and I was single. His wife didn't want him hanging around a guy who was dating girls and not married. I'd visit him and it got to the point where we'd just stand outside the whole time. Took me a while to realize he wasn't inviting me in to sit down because his wife didn't want me there.
I did what I still think was the right thing and faded into the background and silently wished him and his wife the best. As I said in another reply, this guy was the most true bro anyone could ask for. He stood up for me when I was a scrawny kid and even though it's been many years since, you don't forget stuff like that.
I was even his best man at his wedding so yeah. NovaInitia
We drifted apart. She was mega religious, and I was getting ready to come out as bi, and she would've been weird about it and tried to get me to pray the gay away. We'd also had a long simmering argument about a guy we both liked, and her other best friend who she had an on again, off again thing with, had been trying to push me out of our friendship for years. Then we graduated high school and kind of just never stayed in contact. shoutfromtheruthtop
He's in jail for what i guess would be fraud.
I mean id purposely stopped trying to associate with him well before but he'd been becoming super sketchy and i wasn't down. Brittle_Bones_Bishop
Who is this?
We'd been friends since we were children. I started noticing that we only got together when I would give her a call otherwise I didn't hear from her. One time I was going through major hell and was pouring my heart out as you do with 'besties,' and I caught her rolling her eyes. Clearly she didn't think as much of me as I did of her. Red flag right there.
Ok, after that I stopped calling her, and I never saw her again or heard from her for five years. In the meantime she ran into my parents and told them she had tried to contact me numerous times but I didn't seem to want to talk to her since I didn't answer my phone. Absolutely NOT true. She never contacted me at all.
When my father died I texted her to tell her, she replied "Sorry, who is this?" She didn't come to the funeral despite having known him since she was 8. She turned up one day months and months later at my mother's house, and I happened to be there. I answered the door and she said "I'm here to see your mum." I wish I hadn't let her in but I did and she basically ignored me for the whole time.
I could have forgiven her anything really, but not coming to my dad's funeral was unforgivable. However it finally allowed me to see the sort of person she really was, so I am glad it happened. nuance61
Told you so...
She told me she never wanted to talk to me again just because I was the only person who didn't like her boyfriend. Two years later, she messaged me saying I was right about him and that she was sorry. Figures.
I was extremely upset because I felt like I didn't deserve to be treated that way. We had been best friends for three years and she completely shut me out just because I didn't trust her boyfriend. I forgave her when she apologized because I knew she meant it and is ultimately a decent person, but we've gone our separate ways in life anyway so we never tried to pick up contact with each other again. ajw596596
Drugs. Primarily cocaine. As teens we dabbled I won't lie but I grew out of that weekend 'sheesh.' He got in with the wrong crowd and changed as a person. Quite sad really, the friend I knew was really intelligent, amazing with computers, always coming up with different business ideas. It's crazy what a certain crowd of people and drugs can do to a person. I wait for the day he tells me he's clean and wants to catch up. FraserCR
Not a friend of mine!
Called me gay for not wanting to lose my virginity to some random girl in the bathroom at a house party. We were both drunk, but she clearly had way more drinks than me. She tried pulling me into the bathroom so I went and got her friend and asked them to go home. My "friend" saw this and decided to say "BOOOOOY YOU GAY AF I WOULD'VE F**KED!!!" It was honestly disgusting to me. I was raised by a single mom and have 2 sisters. Just didn't feel right.
I lost my virginity 2 months later to a girl I started dating. We still date and it'll be 3 years in February. rennypenn
Because she's mad that I was diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder, so that means less time spent with her, but also because she's one of the factors of why I have an anxiety disorder in the first place.
That's why I resorted to putting that distance between us. I kind of feel bad because I never took the time to explain why I did what I did, but I don't think she'll understand and will just get even madder (she's my best friend, I know how her reactions are, it's just gonna be like that time, yeah, something similar happened before and she was pissed). Plus, I like where we both stand now - not totally fallen apart, but not exactly super close either. She's right where I need her to be, for the sake of my mental health. aristagrey
Don't Need You!Giphy
She was doing coke on a night out, got paranoid about my behavior for some reason (apparently I was flirting with her and didn't make an effort with any of her friends) and then 'dumped' me via text a few days later before we were due to meet for dinner. 14 years of friendship gone just like that. Eskatrene
I can't see people.....
I have social anxiety i stopped talking to literally everyone. effyoumod
I did that for a bit. Now I'm in a stage of trying to make up for lost time and salvage the remnants of friendships that still exist while there's still time (I just started my senior year of high school). Honestly I don't think I'll ever get back to how close I used to be and I'm not sure if it's even worth it to try. luigipheonix
One More Try....
We had been friends since infancy but we started to drift in our late teens/early twenties. We both experimented with drugs, but he got into opioids hard. Found out that he stole a few things of mine from my parents' house while I was at college under that guise that "I told him he could borrow some stuff." Broke my heart knowing that my parents let him into their home just so he could steal. We had a couple of shouting matches and didn't speak for a couple of years while he was in and out of rehab/jail.
He got clean for 2 years and we reconciled somewhat
Three years ago he overdosed.
I would give anything to have one more conversation with him, about anything at all. obsterwankenobster